Hi folks, part one of a faux two-parter today, which is how I describe it when each section can stand as its own post. The next post (part two) will immediately follow in a few days. Thanks for reading!
*****
The highest concentration of my notes from Jessica Pan's Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come (a May 2022 read I briefly reviewed in December) came from the few pages where she described hosting a dinner party. This was such a foreign concept to me that the chapter essentially became an unofficial crash-course tutorial on hosting. Recognizing that I might someday need to know some of this, I read carefully while scribbling down as many helpful reminders as possible.
For my fellow hopeless hosts, here are my best insights:
A good playlist is important
I think the idea here is to make sure guests can feel comfortable just relaxing in silence while also offering them something to which they can give their shared attention. If you don't like music, I suppose an alternative is to print out copies of your favorite TOA posts and leave them scattered around your house.
(I'll add as Special Bonus Advice that it would be my recommendation to turn off the TV. It's far too stimulating and some guests may be unable to fully engage with the party while the TV is on. Of course, I remind you that I'm no expert on hosting, or TV for that matter.)
The food should be as prepared as possible
The thought is to have time for your guests, which is a minor challenge when you spend three hours alone in the kitchen. This obviously doesn't apply in setups where one can be in the kitchen without separating from the guests, such as in an open-concept or a small apartment, but it may still be helpful to have this reminder in mind just so you make yourself engage with guests from your spot in the kitchen area.
Pan's lists specifics that fit her idea of "prepared food" - cold appetizers, a cheese board (one hard, one soft, one blue) and a slow-cooked meal. She adds that dessert shouldn't be too fancy. I'll note that if I ever host a dinner party I'll be sure to walk the tightrope between "dinner party" and "potluck", which by design would increase the availability of fully prepared food.
Some essential preparation for a large number of guests - dishwashing soap, foil, and extra bottles of wine
These items proactively address the shortages that can arise when you suddenly increase the number of people you have over to your house. The specific items that fit this definition might differ by host. If I had to reword this tip in my own words, I would say to stock up on the household items you tend to ignore until they run out because these are the items that won't have the spares you might suddenly need during the party.
Work out connections among guests so that you have ways of introducing unknown people to each other (honorable mention - have some stories ready in case a conversation falls flat)
I think this final point is somewhat obvious, but I wanted to include it at the end because it suggests a connecting thread for today - basically, since your goal as the host is to ensure your guests have the best possible experience you need to do everything you can to create a great experience. Ideally the guests can organically connect with each other, but a host taking on a more active social role can also facilitate a nice experience for everyone. When you reexamine the above with this idea in mind, you can see the way each specific recommendation connects back to the larger goal.
Good luck with your party!
