However, there is a specific aspect of these events that I don't miss at all. I call it "the long introduction". This happens during the Q&A portion of the event. Instead of walking up to the microphone and asking a question, the audience member casually embarks on an unprompted soliloquy, which vaguely hints at an upcoming question as it sprinkles in unnecessary details about their own life, opinions, and who knows what else, all while the audience becomes increasingly anxious about missing the last train. I shudder to think of all the possible additions when someone will inevitably ask an author to share a thought on, oh, who knows what, let's just say Will Smith slapping Chris Rock (so you might remember the Oscars... as a white person... the amplifying effect of social media... mask mandates and lockdown... the reflection of a violent society... I mean, some have claimed... these uncertain times... systemic racism... you know, I grew up in a small town... political polarization... it brings to mind, right... at first it seemed staged...). After ninety-three seconds or so, it mercifully ends with the one and only thing that should have been said all along - so what did you think?
Folks, and I do love my fellow readers, but we need to get this straightened out, so listen up. Folks, these authors have written their own books. Can we trust them to understand the question, or to ask for clarification if necessary? We are speaking to men and women who, for a living, have been told to cut the bullshit, and cut it again, until they are left with the barest essence of the message. Can we take a page out of their books (signed copies of which are available for $35) and just say the thing that needs to be said, then shut up? Nothing personal, but we didn't come hear to listen to you talk.
Of course, maybe I am asking too much, more than a lot. We are, after all, in some ways one, even if not the same. I guess what I am pointing out is in many ways just what we do, leading and hinting and slowly revealing the question, even as we layer it in so much self-protection that it becomes impossible to answer the question. Why give someone an answer who seems afraid of what might be said? Who really wants to know the answer? I think we all do, but really, we don't, at least most of the time, if we are to believe that the way we tiptoe around the question reveals an inherent truth about the question, or what we anticipate about the answer. Maybe it would be better if we were able to just say the thing that needed to be said, to ask the questions of each other when we want to know the answer, but there is probably a wisdom in knowing that most of the time it isn't the time to say the thing that needs to be said, and that we are better off just saying something else.
