If you search "life hacks" you get a stack of results, so I'll include a rare clarification for today's review - it's this book, a list of one thousand tips. The structure presents unusual challenges for the TOA reading review protocol - sharing even my book notes seems like a potential copyright violation, since I merely copied out the most useful tips.
What I'll do instead is a variant on the classic TOA riff off - I'll hand out an award to a few tips and share some additional thoughts. As usual, the line from my book notes is in italics.
Life Hacks by Keith Bradford (February 2020)
I suppose before I launch into the gimmick that I should comment on the book. Look, if you open a book of one thousand tips and expect each one of them to contain the infinite wisdom of this day and age then, well, I can't help you (but you may find your soul mate somewhere in the complaints/comments section of that above-linked page). I suggest going through Life Hacks a few pages at a time, noting down a useful thought or two along the way, as the best approach for a productive read.
OK - drumroll please...
The Go To A Concert and Hold Up Your Phone The Whole Time Award - Online comments (Foursquare) can help find the Wi-Fi passwords for many public locations.
The millennials are a resourceful bunch, but sometimes their desire to solve problems with unnecessarily clever solutions leads me to wonder how I can renounce my membership in this group. In this case, I wonder why using the internet (to which you might not even have access, by the assumption embedded in the tip) is considered a better idea than walking up to someone and asking for the password - it's surely a much faster process than scrolling through comments sections.
The Most Applicable to TOA Award - 'site:' specifies how Google will look for your search term.
I intend to update TOA soon with a search tool, but the temporary solution takes advantage of the above. For example, if you want to read everything I've ever written about Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp, copy and paste the following into the Google search bar:
site:trueonaverage.com "klopp"
To search for anything else on the site, just enter a different search term within the quotes.
The Inspired A Better Hack Award - Toilet paper rolls can become iPhone speakers with a quick slice down the middle.
I don't have an iPhone but I do have a speaker, which I amplified by placing it inside an empty cardboard box (originally a twelve-pack of Harpoon Winter Warmer).
The Advice Others Will Dismiss Out of Hand Award - Run a spoon under hot water to prepare for scooping brick-frozen ice cream.
It just seems like the ice cream culture has reached a point where you fall into one of two camps - either you overprepare by leaving the ice cream out "to thaw" (which means it's not "ice" cream anymore, is it) or you indulge in the pageantry of straining a deltoid as you try to force the spoon a centimeter or two into the sugar-brick hood-ness of the classic dessert.
The Stolen Advice Award - Relaxation technique - exhale completely, inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds, exhale for eight seconds.
I have been sharing this one for years with anyone who steered our conversation toward this topic - in fact, in the past year a loyal reader got back in touch and mentioned that he still uses this from time to time whenever he is having some trouble falling asleep.
The Arbitrary Misuse of Statistics Award - Laughing for fifteen minutes is as healthy as sleeping for two hours.
Where do I begin trying to untangle this mess of a tip? Look, I don't care if Mitch Hedberg himself walks into the room and says he hasn't slept for ten days because that would be too long - if I'm exhausted the healthiest remedy is a bit of sleep; any room can be the bedroom.
The Arrested Development Memorial Award for Blatant Product Placement - Toothpaste left overnight on a pimple will help it vanish.
I don't need a PhD from Colgate University to figure this one out - someone explain to me why there is such a thing as the $4 billion acne treatment industry if the solution is to dab a little toothpaste on a zit.
The Spirit of the Hacker Award - Redbox offers a discounted second movie if you add two intially then remove one before checkout.
Honorable Mention: Pushing back the date on your computer can extend certain free trials.
Paul Graham defines a "hacker" as someone who can get a computer to do what he or she wants it to do. The problem with following the kind of advice listed here is that these software bugs are likely repaired as soon as they become popular, but it's the spirit of the thinking that contains the value of these tips.
The Forgotten Base Rate Award - A good lie should include an embarrassing personal detail.
This one has that truthiness quality to it, but I can confirm from decades of telling little fibs that most people believe everything; a good lie is simply a bad lie with "just kidding" left on the cutting room floor.
The You Knew It All Along Award - All I have shared, and all I have loved, is all I'll ever own.
The premise of Life Hacks is that we can all live better if we arm ourselves with the right tools - knowledge, curiosity, tenacity - which allow us to treat the trials and tribulations of daily life with a healthy perspective: they are like fun puzzles, testing our problem-solving skills, rather than the root cause of our eternal despair. But at the end of the day, the big questions remain, and the answers aren't listed neatly in a book. The fortunate aspect of this otherwise demoralizing situation is that deep down, we know the truth - it's all that we share, all that we give away, with love being the greatest...
...what?
OK, fine.
This isn't from Life Hacks, it's from the Muse song "Something Human". And don't give me that look - if you've been here before, you know how these riff-offs end; you knew it all along.
Thanks for reading, back on Friday.
