No trick, and definitely no treat - it's November, reader.
No debating it.
Definitely no debate.
The weather is like an f'ing joke.
Right, odd to see snowy leaves, and obviously causing novel problems - the leaves allow so much more snow to sit on branches than usual, as in the usual case of branches being bare in the winter, and the wet snow meant some collapsing wood around here; for once, it wasn't just the Green Line branches having issues, though they did. Spectacular sights, though, to see the white layered onto the traditional autumn colors. I'd recommend it if it didn't feel like an endorsement for climate change.
At least the beers changed on time, right?
What?
Well, the Winter Warmer just came out, and usually those are three months ahead of season - not this time.
Oh, good point.
So what now?
Well, we'll just pick up right where we left off exactly four weeks ago, when I was rudely interrupted - time to do a little cleanup of the notes, half-posts, and general admin that's accumulated around here over the past couple of months. Read them off, please.
Sure. What posts did you stop working on? Let's start with corona complaints-
Right, there's only so much you can say, but who is doing the thinking when an outdoor patio leaves a two-foot wide sidewalk? Like seriously, go to Faneuil Hall, have a look around, or even try Cambridge, and point out the geniuses who came up with these layouts; I want to borrow their yardstick, I'll be the tallest man on earth.
But isn't he short?
Huh?
Never mind. Any other corona thoughts?
I miss quite a bit about pre-pandemic life, but I do NOT miss holding doors, just standing there waiting with my mouth open, trying to decide if someone eleven and a half feet away was in range where I'd be expected to hold the door, and then that awkward half-scurry, followed by, like, seventeen seconds of "thank you! no, thank you!!"; the pandemic made us all stop pretending like holding a door was the most important moment in human history, thank god. If I can go the rest of my life letting doors slam I'll live happily ever after-
Uhh, maybe a different topic? How about business, any new rants?
Sure, I was thinking last week about how some business bros are so dumb, with their inane expressions like "low-hanging fruit", maybe I could convince one of them that the expression actually means a difficult task, because wink-wink, apples grow from the ground, right? So if it hangs it means uh-oh, right? Some of them are dumb enough to buy it, I know it, I bet most of these people haven't been outside since remote-
OK, forget it, anything except corona or business-
Yeah, fine, well I was trying to write something about how people love to admit being wrong, but they'll never admit that other people were right. It's always "my views changed", never "well those people I vilified, turns out, were right all along". And that's weird, right?
No-
Like the problem when one person turns out to be right after so much time? It means that despite being right, they were considered wrong, which really seems like a huge waste, and instead of acknowledging how tough that was and trying to repair the damage, people say "hey, I was wrong". What does that mean? We all know this, but the person who was right the whole time definitely knows it. So this admission, it doesn't really work, does it? But I couldn't really squeeze a post out of the idea.
You know, I'm almost sorry I asked about abandoned posts.
Well, it was a stupid question, by definition you're gonna get stupid answers.
How about those pop culture complaints you were doing? Like every Friday?
Those are done, never again. Can't really complain about something you don't care about, right?
Even COVID Seinfeld?
I did think about the possibility of George and Elaine faking a marriage just so they could get into reduced capacity arenas - I'll leave the details to the experts, or the bored.
OK, let's close up, then. Any Halloween plans?
None, though I basically went trick or treating earlier at CVS - spent three bucks, got three Kit-Kats, and since they gave me three dollars in CVS money, it kinda worked out like I was eight years old, you know? CVS is either the greatest place in America, or about to go out of business.
Apple update?
As of October 31, Appple ($1.89T market cap) can mail a $2K check to every American (331M) and remain a trillion-dollar company.
And finally - the TOA budget deficit...
It's like, six thousand words over-
Yikes.
Longtime readers will recall the endless string of broken promises regarding the word count budget, honestly it's like I was running for office. Here's the newest one - 300 words per day, except for Sundays, which I'm not going to count any longer.
So today doesn't count?
Correct.
So why am I here?
Just shut up and read the cue cards, this is almost done.
Anything else?
Yes, I think with November finally here, and the clocks turning back-
The clocks are what?
You millennials, it means when all your digital numbers mysteriously change by one hour, OK? Back in my day you had to know what was going on, and actually do things. Anyway, it's officially time to worry about the dark days of winter, which will amplify all the problems that existed before the pandemic.
Sad!
Right, like SAD. This isn't official advice, I'm not a doctor, I only have a B.S-
We all know you have a lot of BS-
What? Quiet down, anyway, take this advice with a grain of salt - for those who like to do everything they can, who like to worry about things they can control, just remember the importance of that extra initiative to get out into the sunlight, and move around; sixty minutes of each - which can be done simultaneously - always worked wonders for my mood.
Nice parting thought-
Or a starting thought, if you will. It's day one of the rest of your life.
Oh, for the love of-
Thanks for reading, see you in November!
