Wednesday, November 11, 2020

a minute's silence

I don't really have an answer for why I became a Liverpool fan, but I usually say it's because of their supporters. I have a vague memory of a game from early in 2006, I think it was away to West Ham, when I was flabbergasted that the deafening noise from the television was coming from the travelling fans who were outnumbered ten to one. I supplemented those first few months of watching soccer with hours of research, where I learned more about the club's fanbase - I discovered not just that it could make Anfield the most intimidating home ground in all of the sport, but that it could also organize for goals outside the game - for example, the citywide boycott of The S*n. My support for Liverpool came at a perfect time, just as college was diluting my ability to connect through a shared interest in Boston's various teams, and by fall break of my freshman year I was fully invested in the club.

I'm never asked why I'm still a Liverpool fan, and I think that's just fine - I don't have an answer. I'm in my thirties and I watch soccer games - it's one of those things that's hard to explain to someone who doesn't already understand. I'm not sure what my fellow supporters would say either, mostly because I don't count any other Liverpool fans among my close friends. The only place I've interacted with them at all is at The Phoenix Landing, a bar in Cambridge, where I've seen a few matches over the years. I remember a cold November morning when I walked in, barely awake, but fully alert to the vague possibility of community that clings to the air around anyone who walks alone into a bar. The screens showed the players lined up at midfield, with Anfield waiting around them for a minute's silence before kickoff. The whistle blew and everything went quiet - not just in the ground, but in the bar, too. I remained silent mostly out of stunned surprise. The quietest sixty seconds I'd ever heard soon came to an end, and this time the whistle brought the crowd back to life. The unity in the noise was the same as in the silence, and maybe somewhere in there I should have found my answer.