Hi all,
OK, at long last, here's the isolation routine I've developed over the past ten days or so, I was holding out for something better but I think I owe it to myself to post this now or something, honestly if I'm still here doing this in twenty years someone should just come by and kill me, not a threat, just a fact.
First thing
I tend to wake up around 7AM or so, with the range being 630AM - 715AM. It's the best part of my day, for about ten seconds before I wash my hands and check the news, I actually think to myself - you know, that COVID-19, maybe it'll be gone, no goodbye, no see ya later, just left.
Early morning
I make coffee and go for a walk. I go to the Public Garden, do a lap, and come back. I never sit on the bench but it's therapeutic. If I see people I usually step into the road, choosing who to let into my weird little world, asymptomatic 'superspreaders', stepping aside, I see every negative thing coming at me from ten miles down the road. It's not a question of why should I, but why shouldn't I?
I'll take a crack at it, what if the guy I step aside for works for MGH, and later today he picks up Corona from some patient, and then on the way home he coughs a few times and gets some people sick? Sure, MGH guy is really happy with himself, did the job well, but those people he got sick, one guy was about to cure cancer, and now this guy is sick, and eventually dies, and since cancer isn't cured that means maybe a whole bunch of other people die, here and in some village in the Middle East and everywhere in between? Maybe if I just held my ground and he freaked out when I brushed up against him as we passed, maybe he calls out sick instead... tomorrow I'm staying on the sidewalk, at least I'll be original.
Anyway, the whole thing takes about thirty minutes. The only exception is Saturday, I skip the walk because I eventually go grocery shopping. I also skip the walk if I have some kind of important work commitment, an early start never hurts, all that long division and other vital tasks that earn me good bank so that I can live here for the rest of my life.
Breakfast
Plain Greek yogurt, with a (big) spoonful of honey. No apples, I don't like them apples.
Late morning
I usually catch up on my internet admin until around 9AM or so. 'Internet admin' includes things like reading articles I saved the prior day or going through long-term projects like deciding if I want to add certain book recommendations to my list. One day, I'll give you the skinny on every art book every written.
At 9AM, I'll switch over to work (weekday), grocery shopping (Saturday), or cooking (Sunday). I might make more coffee, or eat a bunch of caramels, it's pretty arbitrary when I think about it.
Lunch
I usually fry or scramble eggs with cheese, then include those in some giant bowl that will contain some of the following: baked Japanese yams, roasted tomatoes, roasted Brussels sprouts, sauteed spinach, sauteed mushrooms, boiled beats, steamed broccoli, steamed green beans, roasted eggplant, sliced peppers, roasted zucchini, or baby carrots.
Why bother? One day, I'm going to wake up, and I'll be fifty, so I owe it to me. When people tell me they struggle to make good lunch decisions, my reaction is something like this - do you have any fucking idea how easy lunch is for me? It's a fucking joke! And I'm sorry you can't do this, I really am, because I wouldn't have to sit here and watch you fumble around and fuck it up!
I have my pick of eating utensils, but I only see chopsticks.
Afternoon
The afternoons see the battle continue, it's work, work, work on the weekdays while on weekends it's the far more grueling challenge of writing. There's honor in it, it's real work, keeping my ear to the grindstone, like being a shepherd.
I'm averaging around five hours per weekend day, which is a solid start, but its a small sample size. By now, I've drank enough coffee to kill a small horse. The pattern regardless of day is to work 45 to 75 minutes, then take a 10 to 30 minute break, repeating until evening. When 'once more into the breach, dear friends' fails to resonate with me, I pack up and call it a day.
Evening
I run six days a week. If I do a short run, I'll do some kind of strength workout in my apartment, otherwise it's straight to the showers. If the timing is right, I'll catch the evening news, and although I'm initially bothered by the content it will eventually occur to me that these people, the newscasters or the 'experts' or some professor, they don't have the faintest idea what they are talking about. When I look at the President, I don't see an intelligent, confident man, I see a cocky, scared shitless kid.
Dinner
Most nights, I keep it simple, eating rice and natto (fermented soybeans) or bread and butter. Twice a week, maybe three, I'll order some kind of takeout, and the next day I'll regret it, because now I'm eating my rice and beans knowing there's something like a real dinner out there.
Night
I try to keep up some resemblance of connection, perhaps through emails, calls, or video chats. If I have time, I do what I'm doing now, and write some more, but I struggle to write about anything I didn't learn in some fucking book. I'd like to talk about me, and who I am, but I'm afraid about what I might say.
Last thing
Most nights end with some kind of grand, heroic struggle, a classic epic where I try in vain to defeat the undefeated opponent, like a lone paddler in a raging sea. It always ends in reflection, on all this shit, and I wonder if I'm just doing the best I can, whether I'm surrounding myself with the wrong fucking books, can I go the rest of my life without having to really know anyone, pawning off ideas like they're my own, waves are crashing into my little boat, someone's fucking with me, wondering whether it's all my fault... the coloring, that's the problem, making me feel like a failure, I can smell my ceiling, counting every second until it's over... surely, it's not all my fault... I owe $1.50 in late charges for the wrong fucking books, maybe they won't be there tomorrow... not my fault... time's up.
