One of the great buzzwords at the start of our 'stay at home' advisory was 'essential business'. If you were essential, you could remain open, but for all others the Governor's decision meant closed doors. The initial list that came out was, to me, a laughably long nine pages, but let's make sure I clarify two details - (1) I laugh at most things and (2) I don't really know what my expectations were for the length of the list.
Let's put it this way - how many essential businesses are in the state? I have no clue. I'm starting to think, though, that I was right when I laughed - the list was too long. I mean, guess what, folks? JP Licks is open. Yep, JP Licks is an Essential Business. Who knew? The only health condition ice cream cures is having too much money in your wallet - a bulging pocket presses down on critical leg arteries, I heard. I also think it's a great idea to have people lick something exposed to the virus-leaden air, over and over, while they hold it with their hands, which of course can't be washed while holding the cone.
Of course, the pot shops remain (at time of writing) closed. Who knew? The only health condition pot cures is anxiety, which no one has right now because we're all doing great, doing just great, waiting in line for our ice cream and wondering what our leaders have been smoking.
