Surely, you've run out of stupid things to say?
So last week I mentioned Trump calling this corona business the 'Chinese Virus', I decided instead of just sitting around moaning like the rest of Blue Taxachusetts I should do something productive and come up with a better name for it. After seconds of deliberation, I got it - the 'Millennial Virus'.
Think about it, if us millennials were in the Bible, this would be it - a virus that you can beat, easily, by staying inside and avoiding people... except we've all spent the last decade willingly handing over our attention spans, making this task essentially impossible.
Way to be a team player.
I came up with a public service announcement.
Fine.
Stop showering.
What?
Stop showering. No one is going to come within six feet of you if you smell like-
OK, we get it.
-a six pack of sweaty Corona.
Yup, got it. So no hygiene?
I actually probably should scale it back, my hands are evidence of my commitment. One of the weird things about a pandemic is that I imagine millions of people are having small, irrelevant problems that in the context of a pandemic remain irrelevant, but are still very real annoyances, inconveniences, or concerns.
For me, it's just rubbish skin, and now I've got a problem on my hands. But, like I said, in the grand scheme of things dry skin or staying inside or a social life built entirely around slow walks to the grocery store, these are no matter.
So, did you leave the apartment at all?
I did, but I got out late, and that's odd because these days I'm only late for virtual meetings. But for some reason, after I found this clip of U2 covering Johnny Cash's 'The Wanderer' I just had to listen to it a second, third, and fourth time.
Until next time, stay safe, and sane, out or in there.
