I don’t watch movies anymore. I estimate that over the past ten years, I’ve seen ten movies (though a few of those I've watched more than once). It's not that I dislike movies, I just don't watch them. It raises an interesting question - if I started watching movies again, would I just rewatch old movies, or would I try some new ones?
A movie like Memento makes a strong case for the former. The whole plot is that a guy with no short-term memory searches for his wife's killer using a system of clues to help him remember (and the plot hole is that he knows this, but movies are like donuts, the hole makes the whole, so let's ignore this issue, and by the way this isn't related at all to why I don't watch movies anymore... let's move on). Somewhat in the spirit of Memento, I don't remember anything about it, except that it was great.
As I thought about this movie, I realized that the movie’s extreme portrayal of amnesia dismisses the constant battle we all wage against our short-term memory. Aren't we all more like the Memento guy that we'd care to admit? I use plenty of memory aids to keep track of small details, such as the way I hang an empty garbage bag on my doorknob to remind myself about trash day. It seems like a minor miracle that I'm not walking around snapping Polaroids or scribbling notes onto my palms (and when I get a smartphone, I bet I do start taking photos as a way to supplement my to-do list).
The problem with my Memento system is that if I miss the memento, I have no chance. This heightens the urgency of leaving my reminders in obvious places. If my bike helmet is on my sneakers, I'll definitely take it, but a helmet on the coat rack might greet me when I return home. A less common issue is that if I don’t complete the action dictated by the reminder, I risk leaving tasks half-completed. This is why I often forget things halfway between the reminder and the destination. If I’m packing a lunch, for example, it starts in the fridge and ends in the bag, so the most likely place to forget it is on the table. These problems often start with a distraction (like seeing a garbage bag dangling on the doorknob) so I will do much better if I remember to start and finish, but unfortunately there isn't a memento that helps me remember to complete the task.
Perhaps my old ally The Checklist is the best way to address this concern. I use a checklist to pack for trips and I've never forgotten anything essential at home. But the checklist still allows for distraction, and that's the bigger problem. Checklists only work in this situation if I can anticipate the potential distractions. Until I know how to effectively focus through a distraction (or refocus after a distraction) I’m going to continue forgetting things.
A moment during a recent hospice volunteer shift reminded me that I shouldn't forget, I'm only a moment from starring in Memento 2. As my shift was ending, I took our garbage and recycling out to the backyard. First, I dumped the contents from our small recycling container into the large bin that is always at the end of the driveway. Then, I went into the storage shed to retrieve the garbage can. I dumped in the bag, closed the shed, and locked the door. I went inside and signed out. I was about halfway down the front the block when I remembered that I’d left the small recycling container outside by the shed. I turned around, retrieved the bin, and brought it back inside.
As I made my way down the front steps for the second time in five minutes, a strange thought occurred to me. Was it more surprising that I forgot, or more surprising that I remembered that I forgot? I don’t remember what I concluded that night. I suppose it’s a good sign that I remembered without an external reminder but it hides the reminder in my initial forgetting. Ultimately, the only thing I need to remember is that I’m going to forget, and that each memento is just another step closer to the void.
