Hi all,
Three more new reminders I added to my list last year.
-Be the better one
The short explanation is that this refers to the mean, median, and mode. Peer pressure, some might call it, or conformity. It’s a simple reminder for me that what happens by default doesn’t need to happen for me. If I have a clear-headed moment when I realize the better person would go against the grain, this reminder bolsters my resolve to cut in a new direction.
-Alleviate and prevent suffering
I think everyone struggles with the occasional existential crisis. What’s the point of it all, we demand, perhaps with fist skyward, raging against the unstoppable, the inevitable…
The answer lies in our own experience. If someone came along who alleviated our suffering, what would we think about that person? It’s a little like that expression about poker, I suppose, that says if you can’t spot the sucker at the table then you are the sucker. If you would hold someone in high regard for helping you through your suffering, then perhaps you should become the person who helps others through their suffering.
-Don't let people do what you will resent
This is an interesting rule of thumb. It means that the people we like best are often saying or doing the very things we dislike about the people we don’t like very much. If such a thing goes on long enough, the people we like best are going to become the people we don’t like very much, right?
We can’t monitor every move our friends make just as we can’t correct every syllable uttered by our closest family. Resentment dictates action. Resentment is the biggest threat to any healthy relationship and we should respond anytime the seeds of resentment are sown. If we know we will dwell on it later, we shouldn’t just roll our eyes and try to move on. When it comes to the way our friends and loved ones behave, we have to challenge ourselves to think about the future rather than the present in order to preserve the relationship.
