The way life seems to work for me when I run amok on TOA and post irrelevant life updates is that after I write something assertive like ‘I had problem A, so I applied solution B’, a few days later something comes up that contradicts everything I just finished writing. ‘Ordering Fakeout’ proved no exception to this golden rule.
A few days after the post, I found myself in the lobby of our occupational health center. I was there to get my annual flu shot. I signed in at the front desk and sat down to wait. Just when I was starting to wonder how long it would take, I heard someone call out ‘Timothy!’ and I jerked my head upward. Of course, I had used ‘Tim’ at the sign-in (I’ve only trained myself for takeout food situations) but since I’d grown accustomed to drooling like Pavlov’s (psychologically abused) dog anytime I heard my full name, I stood up like an idiot. There was, of course, someone already standing, a doctor who will probably cure cancer in three months and thus put me out of work again, but the only thing I know for sure right now is that he had signed in using ‘Timothy’.
I supposed I should stop short of assuming we share the same name. After all, I didn’t ask him if he used Timothy because it was his name or if it was just a way to prevent confusion when being called out. I didn’t ask if he was merely a too-clever Bob who had grown frustrated with name confusion anytime he shared public space with a Rob. Who would ever use Timothy, right? I'm guessing that as a doctor in his place of employment he probably did sign his real name... but you never know.
Anyway, Dr. ‘Timothy’ walked around the corner and out of sight. I sat down to mull over the pointless state of my life. Who knew how long this would take? I pulled out a piece of paper, looked for a pen that seemed clean of the flu virus, and wrote ‘Winston’ at the top of the list.
