One of the themes I touched on in my first post about When Things Fall Apart covered the problems that result from thinking too much about absolute right or wrong. Pema Chodron had more on this topic that I want to discuss today.
The root of the problem is a tendency to cling to the impermanent. We do this in so many ways – the cycle of life and death perhaps being the foremost example – and the fear of inevitable loss makes it impossible to feel the full joy that comes with so much of life. I thought Chodron’s comment that life means dying over and over again was an illuminating way to think about this challenge. The difficulties we commonly refer to as trials or tests are not just ordeals to endure until we feel better; these are the opportunities we have to find the indestructible within us.
When we understand the core of our essence and accept that it will always be there, we can face annihilation over and over again. We understand that the fear of death is really just a mask covering the fear of life. We slowly accept that when things come together they will soon come apart again. When we reach this point on the journey, we can see that the problem of right or wrong isn’t that the answer cannot be determined, it’s that right or wrong shifts and changes in lockstep with the ambiguity of reality.
In other words, although right or wrong can exist in specific moments, we should accept that such an arrangement is impermanent. There is a great flexibility that comes when we accept the changing nature of right and wrong. Just as generosity comes naturally to those who understand that everything falls apart, those who recognize the essence of right and wrong bring a missing ingredient to impossible situations. They help some see that being right comes at the cost of hurting others. In other situations, they demonstrate that the clarity of determining right or wrong isn’t worth the cost of increasing tension or fury among the concerned parties. And when a situation comes around that seems truly impossible, one where right or wrong must be determined no matter what the cost, the people who recognize its impermanence nature find ways to make everyone comfortable with waiting until something inevitably changes and shows a new path forward.
