Wonder by R.J. Palacio (August 2019)
Wonder is about a boy whose disfigured face constantly makes him the center of unwanted attention. The plot mostly covers sixth grade, his first year in a regular school. This book was a little outside my usual range but I had a good time reading Palacio's novel. I didn’t consider it a particularly challenging read but I think most people will like the story and pull a few good lessons from its pages about how to treat others in a world where everyone is in a constant battle to fully accept each other’s uniqueness.
The most profound thought from the book was how challenging it is to see the people closest to us in the same way others see them. I think I’ve pointed out in the past here on TOA how most people don’t have a good grasp on which of their friends are shy – this idea works in a similar way. At the most basic level, we accept those closest to us but this acceptance can blind us to the way others reject the same people. I also liked a related comment about the downside of trying to help others feel normal. Good intentions, no doubt about it, but it’s a healthy part of development to know what makes us different from others and understand why a stranger might consider us abnormal. Again, it’s the way we accept others that might be the challenge – through our acceptance, we risk losing sight of why someone else might not share the same view.
If a book like Wonder requires a single theme, it’s probably that we should always be a little kinder than necessary. Can’t hurt, right? It’s a massive challenge to see when others are having their worst days while we are enjoying just another normal afternoon. By being relentless kind, we don’t have to see this – we can simply bolster each other regardless of what else is going on and be there to help as needed when a day is proving more difficult than usual.
There is a light quality to the book that I appreciated at various times for the way it suggested tactics for building up resilience. People who struggle with self-acceptance should enjoy costume opportunities like Halloween – why not take a break and be completely like everyone else for a night? The reminder that most stresses and worries turn out to be nothing was also helpful as was the follow up about how we shouldn’t worry much when something is outside our control. Finally, although symbolism is always present if you look for it, a duck is just a duck sometimes, and there’s nothing more to it.
