I was poking through the TOA archives (not recommended) when I came across this amusing post. Seems like back in the day I had some big ideas about organizing the ways I was doing nothing...
Of course, sometimes I look at one of my bad ideas and think - was it really so bad? Could there be a good reason for me to bring this unnecessary book into the world? At the very least, it could prop up all those other unnecessary business books on the shelf, right?
Ultimately, I think the best serious argument for this book is the way it will function as my own little insurance policy. This book wouldn't be about cultivating any reader's potential. That's what I would tell people, but that wouldn't be the point of the book. No, this book would exist merely to protect my own desk by cultivating the unsorted mediocrity all around me into clearly defined means, medians, and modes.
Remember this if you remember anything - when you aren't being promoted every ten days, it means one of two things - either your boss is mediocre... or YOU are mediocre! If this unfortunate situation carries on any longer, it seems inevitable that your head is going to be on some kind of chopping block at some point. After all, if you have a bad boss, you'll learn the hard way that bad bosses are known for making dumb decisions. And what could be dumber than sacking a good employee like you?
And if you actually ARE mediocre, well... I'll leave that one for you to work out. But it doesn't matter, really, because one way or another those layoffs are inevitable. Just remember that when heads are rolling, there is nothing more valuable than having incompetent colleagues who share your job title. A book like this one would be a great gift for those folks, right? Follow my crap advice and get fired instead of me. I think this would work, don't you?
Maybe I will write it. Why not? I can see in my head a vision of The Daily Micromanager on bookshelves worldwide. It's sure to be a bestseller - after all, don't we all want to do nothing more than play Peter Principle Roulette to win?
