One consistent theme of Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood was about how to live well in the face of life’s eternal challenges. What is the best way forward when life taps us on the shoulder and reminds us of the ever-present threat of loss, grief, or regret?
A promising approach grows out of the reminder that people who pass up opportunities for happiness will regret it for the rest of their lives. It’s a foundation for thinking about general guidelines for the good life – if passing up happiness means regret, we should try to help ourselves (and others) find happiness. It also presents an insight into those leading misguided lives – people who reinforce strength, energy, or resolve despite failing to make themselves or others happier must reevaluate their chosen path in life.
Of course, this conclusion runs the risk of oversimplifying the complexity of loss. A loss at the end of a long struggle is sometimes like a reprieve, especially if this entailed a daily and consuming effort for an indefinite period of time, but this reprieve hardly represents an invitation to seek new opportunities for those drained and grieving after the struggle. A sudden loss can work in much the same way if survivors are left feeling robbed of what was anticipated or expected, especially regarding upcoming life stages that many others happily experience without them. Again, the grief after such a loss is hardly fertile ground for sowing new seeds and establishing new foundations.
One of the lessons I liked from this book was that people who use themselves in unnatural forms become depleted. It applies to the above, I think, because moving forward too quickly after a loss is a good example of an unnatural step. The grieving and suffering should find ways to recover their strength and renew their energy so that they can open their hearts in the process of growing beyond their hurt and once more seek new opportunities for happiness.
