A small but significant aspect of Little Panic addresses how to best express hurt. It’s difficult enough to tell people who mean well that they have hurt you. The challenge grows because people have a tendency to self-center in the face of another’s pain. They might talk about their own pain or loss rather than acknowledge yours, for example, or perhaps they will start relating your emotions in ways that explain how you might feel about them instead of accepting that your emotions can be independent of how you feel about others.
Ultimately, the best approach in these kinds of situations is to be the person you needed when you were younger and explain your hurt in a way you would have liked someone else to have explained their hurt to you. I liked one way this book described such an approach. First, explain your positive intent, and then describe what happened that hurt you. The last step is to confirm understanding. This final step is vital because otherwise it’s impossible to extend the same level of trust again.
