One topic I thought Little Panic explored very well was the role assumptions play when people harm their relationships with each other. These assumptions can take many forms. One common way is to assign labels to another that do not apply to the person in question. An incorrect label is a good way to shut down the communication channels in a relationship for a number of reasons.
First, those who apply labels are no longer accepting of the real people in front of them, instead insisting that others become the type of person they prefer (or know how) to deal with. They might also read too much into someone else’s behavior and reach incorrect conclusions about how another person feels toward them. This kind of guesswork is silly because there are simply far too many reasons for why anything happens - any person trying to guess these reasons is a futile exercise. Instead of creating labels and then explaining observed behavior in the context of the label, people should openly observe what happens in front of them and ask questions about the things they do not understand.
Second, people receiving labels generally struggle to contort themselves within the boundaries or definitions imposed by the label. It’s a sure way to suppress honest self-expression because the task of living up to a label requires concealment of certain contradicting character traits or personal preferences. Over time, as outsiders see only the decoy, a person will feel that the truth about who they are is contained within the unknown or undiscovered parts of the self. This will eventually force the communication path in a relationship to a superficial level at best with the risk of it eventually giving way under the pressure of maintaining a false persona.
As I reflected on how Little Panic thought about assumptions, I thought that the unifying message was how people who only want what’s best for themselves are generally bad news for others. The simple assumption is an admittedly benign expression of this theme but I do feel it fits very well into the overarching idea. When we make assumptions, we tend to create explanations about others that are convenient for our circumstances, preferences, or aspirations. Even when we make benevolent assumptions and try to think about what is best for someone else, we are really only thinking about what is best for someone else within the limitations of our own understanding about the other person. In most cases, I think it’s preferable to remain open to experience and ask questions to broaden our understanding.
