In this recent series, I evaluated all the fortunes I hoarded in my wallet over the years and determined whether I should keep or throw away each one. I intended the exercise as purely tongue-in-cheek and I’m sure that’s how it came off in each post. However, a nagging part of me hears the naysayers saying nay – sure, easy enough to ridicule a fortune, but if you’re so clever why not write a couple?
Well, reader, today I put my money where my General Gao’s chicken just was and respond to my imaginary critics. Below, I go through each fortune I highlighted and try to come up with an improved version.
Carry pieces of your childhood with you through life.
Actually, I like this one as it is currently written.
OK - starting for real... now!
The days you work are the best days.
Fulfilling work is the best use of the day.
Doubt is the beginning, not the end, of wisdom.
Wisdom is knowing when your experience is relevant.
There are many paths to the top of the mountain, but only one view.
The same path leads to many mountaintops.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that’s not why ships are built.
A ship in the harbor is called a dock.
A true friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
A true friend wants the best for you.
Your ability to love will help a child in need.
Your ability to love will help anyone in need.
There’s no boosting a man up the ladder unless he’s willing to climb.
Boost a man up the ladder until he becomes willing to climb.
Perceived failure is oftentimes success trying to be born in a bigger way.
I actually don’t think this one is worth rewriting – there are a lot of ideas packed into the fortune and I don’t see a very productive way to distill those into a simpler message.
Happiness is often a rebound from hard work.
Hard work is the path away from sadness.
Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
Don’t be a dumbass.
Pennies from heaven find their way to your doorstep this year!
Pennies are useless.
Do not spend the money you don’t have.
Fittingly, the final fortune is one that I like just the way it is written.
