Hi all,
This time last month I got carried away by the spirit of April Fool’s Day and put together several hundred entertaining words of complete nonsense. I do apologize for any harm caused, reader, but please be assured that I – like any liar – meant well.
I’m sure some of you are still wondering – but was any of it true? Let’s take a closer look at some of the events I referenced in last month’s newsletter.
Banana allergy (sensitivity?)
Q: True or false?
A: False (less false)
I did discover over a couple of days in February that eating a banana was predictive of feeling bloated later on in the day. The experimental conditions were hardly rigorous but I’m playing it safe for now and avoiding these yellow death sticks. At some point in the future, I’ll probably conduct a definitive test – eat very little for a day, then have a banana or two.
The most surprising thing about this event is how little impact this has had on my life. I wouldn’t have said that in February – back then, I considered bananas an important part of a balanced diet. I guess I’m fortunate that bananas aren’t a staple in basic dishes or a common cooking ingredient – it was just something I ate frequently that in hindsight I could easily do without.
Mice end a two-year exile from my apartment
Q: True or false?
A: True
This was a ridiculous event. As I noted last month, our apartment building brought exterminators in to deal with a problem I didn’t have – an infestation of mice and bugs. The benefits of top floor living, right? For about a week, I would roll my eyes as I listened to my building manager’s voicemails – hey Tim, the guy’s coming in again around four – and shake my head at the various traps I’d notice in the corners of my apartment when I’d come home that evening.
One night, I was falling asleep when I heard a sound vaguely resembling melting snow sliding off a roof. I flicked on my light and saw a mouse sprinting across the floor and under the stove in the far corner. A moment later, his fat buddy came waddling along on the same path and eventually disappeared beneath the same appliance.
My apartment has been mice-free for years despite being in the center of rodent-infested Beacon Hill because I keep the place clean. The biggest change I made to my routine two years ago was to start freezing my food trash – I haven’t had any issues since. My theory for why the mice came back is that the exterminator sealed off all the entry points lower down and forced the mice upward in search of a hole in a wall. This is consistent with the behavior of the mice – rather than digging through food trash (which of course is nowhere to be found in my apartment) Stewart Little and his buddy Fatso were in the middle of my space, wandering around like the French tourists do on Charles Street. I made a couple of phone calls, the exterminator came back, and the problem is solved.
By the way, the traps are still there, and they remain in mint condition.
A hawk in the Public Garden?
Q: True or false – or an eagle?
A: OH YES.
This happened one Wednesday morning on my way to work. I was a little distracted by a stick on the path ahead – it was bent in such a way that I realized I could kick it, you see, and lift it off the ground. I decided to go for a ‘field goal’ and sent the stick flying just over the top of a nearby bench.
As I was celebrating my hypothetical three points, a bird flew unusually close to me, passing just a few feet to my left. I looked up and saw an unusual shape, a winged beast with many writhing claws attached to bushy legs. It took me a moment to figure it out – it was actually two animals, the wings belonging to a large bird of prey, the bushy legs a visual trick based on my position relative to the squirrel in its talons.
Based on my knowledge about birds of prey – which is another way of saying ‘based on having read the Animorphs series’ – I know that certain birds like to roost along cliff walls. This position gives them a clear view of their hunting ground below while having a protective wall behind. Over the next few days, as I spent more time looking upward than ever before, I noticed how the open space of the garden was partially surrounded by tall buildings between ten and twenty stories high. These might be ideal for a city hawk and it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that there is a nest or two somewhere high up on one of those buildings.
I couldn’t find much information online about the hawk. However, I do not think this is its first Public Garden appearance based on this Reddit thread – although there is no direct evidence about the hawk, a comment notes that as it regards the park's white squirrel population, the local hawk 'might have ended that party'. Ouch.
(UPDATE: This thread popped up just nine days ago and makes for better evidence of the above.)
Wait, you kick sticks over park benches?
Q: True or false?
A: Sort of
I sometimes kick rocks, discarded nips, or little ice chunks if I see them on the ground ahead of me. I’ll usually look for a target – poles work the best – and try to hit it with the object. This can actually be a lot of fun while running. The variation I describe above of kicking a stick over a bench was a first, though, mostly because getting objects off the ground is both hard and dangerous. In this case, the stick was bent upward in the middle and there was no one around (presumably, everyone was hiding from the hawk).
Anything else? There was one more thing, right?
Q: The murder case?
A: Yes!
Right. I would classify this one as ‘sort of true’ but since it probably merits its own post, let’s put it on the shelf for some other time.
Thanks for reading – back tomorrow with an admin wrap up.
