Hopefully, having this hypothetical list will help me see all the times I should have been righteously offended that I allowed to pass by unnoticed. A good example is the question ‘where are you from?’ Back in my day, this was a question people asked me when they wanted to know… where I was from… but in these Troubled Times it is a question I’m apparently supposed to answer with ruffled indignation (1). I’m working on it, reader, but I really can’t help blurting out ‘Norwood’ or ‘Tokyo’ before I remember to get upset.
The place where I most frequently forget to be offended by this question is at Haymarket. And though I admit that it would be fun to get all upset so I could come back here and write a fiery post condemning all forms of small talk, I think I’m on the right track – the vendors at Haymarket who ask me where I’m from generally just want to know the answer.
Of course, it helps that Haymarket is, well… let’s just say for those unfamiliar with it, the vendors down at Haymarket speak with a wide range of accents. It seems impossible to me that people could take offense when someone who spells ‘cucumber’ with two K’s asks where they are from. It reminds me of how I react when I hear something that is supposed to be offensive in a complete inoffensive context. One day around a month ago, one of the guys I usually buy spinach or mushrooms from asked me if I was from ‘Jap’. That wasn’t the high point of my day but as it came within a sentence loaded with other mangled words I'll safely assume that my lack of official linguistics expertise doesn't preclude me from identifying an honest mistake. Maybe it’s more offensive that no one in our allegedly great
However, every once in a while I do need an extra moment to gather my thoughts. Last week, I was enthusiastically greeted with an ‘Hola, chino!’ And I did indeed stop to consider – does chino mean what I think it means? Later that day I went on Google to investigate and learned that chino isn’t a translation for ‘chink’ or any other of the English language’s great racist inventions. What I learned is that although chino literally translates to ‘the Chinese guy’, it is used in Mexico and Central America in the same way we use Asian.
I suppose all that's left to do here is a little bit of investigative journalism - if I confirm that my friendly vendor is indeed from just across the border, I don’t need to think too much about him calling me chino every time I buy mushrooms. There’s only one way I’m going to know for sure, though. Next week, I’ll ask him – where are you from?
I hope he isn't offended.
Footnotes / why do we call these pants chinos? / the doctor prescribes reality…
0a. A fresh dose of reality…
I think it’s helpful to point out that I consider myself pretty hard to offend.
0b. A second dose of reality…
I think having played sports at a relatively high level really helps whenever I encounter these moments. At some point, most athletes with thin skin will fail just as coaches who value players for something other than ability to contribute to the team will lose. A true meritocracy suffocates the life out of racism.
1. A third dose of reality…
I think this is a stupid question because I often find it unclear exactly what I’m being asked – I’ve graduated from kindergarten in two countries. Context counts, which is important, and in the same way this question is racist or offensive in a certain context it can also be just a vague question in other contexts. As always, I recommend asking questions about the things you want to know the answer for, and doing so with clear and precise language.
