I originally thought today’s post was going to be a creative twist on the notes I took from Peopleware. It started off that way, for sure. Partway into the post, I stopped for a moment to think over an idea – why did I take notes on certain thoughts while entirely skipping over others?
It was one of those moments where I started down a line of thinking I expected to last for around a minute and found myself still knee-deep in my own gray matter an hour later. I eventually relented and started writing a new post (this one, reader) to track the entire line of thinking I went through in response to my own question.
So – why do I write some things down and not others? It’s an important question, I think. Let’s use my current note taking process as a starting point to explore the idea.
1) First, I seek out books about specific topics and choose the books that I suspect are well written and seem to be an appropriate length.
2) Next, I read the book and try to absorb the hundreds of pages as best as I can. While I read, I mark the specific sentences, paragraphs, or pages I want to return to later.
3) After I finish reading, I return to the book and take down notes from those pages I marked down.
4) Finally, I use my notes to shape my own thinking and writing.On the surface, it doesn’t look so bad. But if you think about it, the whole process is a little strange. The basic problem is that I make hundreds of tiny decisions as I read a book about whether the given thought is interesting enough for me to return to later. If this doesn’t seem so strange to you, reader, think of it like this - the way I take notes requires that I make snap judgments about ideas from experts who have spent years thinking and writing about a subject I may have spent as little as no time thinking or writing about (1).
I’m not afraid of making these quick decisions, reader, but… well, I guess the question is, what are my criteria? I suppose the way I make most of these little decisions is based on whether I find the given note interesting. This leads naturally to the next thought – what makes a note interesting? For me, it seems like anything I agree with makes the cut. This leads to the next (and hopefully, the last) thought – what do I agree with?
That’s the real question here, I think. What do I agree with? I’m only writing down notes for what I agree with, really, so this feels like an important question to understand. In a way, I think most people spend their entire lives asking themselves this question, over and over again, in slightly varying forms. I wish I could give a simple and important answer like – well, I agree with The Truth – but I don’t think such a high-minded response gets at the point of the question (though it would dovetail nicely with the name of the blog) (2).
This is life, right? Life is trying to answer the question - what do I agree with? You grow up, try to do the right thing, find out you were wrong a few times, and then die. This is life: a perpetually repeating sequence of rejecting hypotheses and gaining knowledge that contradicts what you knew yesterday, a process on endless loop until, well, until one day it actually does end. And at the end of every day in this cycle comes the same question, knocking on that bolted shut door at the edge between the mind and the soul – what do I agree with?
It’s a little bit reminiscent of an idea I borrowed from George Saunders that I’ve highlighted around these parts once before – living in the vibrating space between our little contradictions is the big challenge of life (3). It seems like this 'vibrating space' is surrounded on all sides by the things I might possibly agree with. Being here is a task that we aren’t well equipped for – it's the space we occupy whenever we love our pets while we salivate over bacon or when we want to make a change while we master the status quo. Ever time we agree with seemingly deep thinkers on things we’ve never given serious thought to ourselves, we step right back into this space (4).
Why do we feel so poorly equipped for this task? I don’t think it helps when we frame a complex topic as this or that. I also don’t find much value in defining the whole as always equivalent to one (as in, 'the whole' = 1). This kind of thinking frames decisions as negations because it means agreement with one idea causes a disagreement with another. And yet, by accepting a this or that mentality, we make it difficult to think of new ways to grow as human beings.
The key word, I believe, to break this thinking down is and. When we use and, we break down barriers and make the infinite a possibility. And replaces the words that create little divisions and prevents them from expanding into solid borders and warring factions (5). And takes the reservoirs of the past and connects them to the parched hopes for the future.
It shows you that today is the oldest you’ve ever been... and... that today is the youngest you’ll ever be. It reminds you of the people you needed yesterday... and... introduces the possibility of becoming those people tomorrow. And creates the moments that we string together, forever, so that we can safely navigate from our most recent contradiction to the next.
From and, people grow. It is the seed that directs itself toward light, the outlet for the overflowing emotion, the passport that ensures safe passage beyond our limits. And makes it possible to live a life where you find out you are wrong, again and again, about the things you always believed in… and… allows you to enjoy it. And is the shield you stand behind while you tell others just what they need to hear because you believe in it, you believe in your words… and… you aren’t quite ready to heed those words yourself. With and, we can do anything, and anything else, and maybe answer a question or two correctly along the way.
Footnotes / don’t stop me now ‘cuz I’m having a good time…
1. Go ahead, stop me…
Perhaps 'strange' isn’t the right word here – the better word is probably arrogant. I think it takes a certain level of arrogance to do what I do. Who am I to narrow down a highly detailed, meticulously planned, and thoughtfully written book down to twenty bullet points and a couple of proper admins?
2. Longtime readers will argue…
If anything, those of you readers who have been around here long enough would point out that with all the little personas and alter egos I have trotting around here, it is barely plausible that I even agree with myself. Maybe I should consider sorting out the different pieces in my own brain before I start worrying about what the assembled whole is doing.
Or...
Maybe the brain is the ultimate example of the 'vibrating space' among all our contradictions.
3. Well, not quite what he said, there…
I think this link will bring the curious reader to the right quote.
4. This sentence got cut from the original…
The belt holds up the pants but the pant loops hold up the belt…
Sometimes, I take myself too seriously while writing these posts and I end up removing the kind of nonsense that makes the blog worth writing. I regret nothing, but still.
5. Another reject...
Simple possibilities like the bacon-eating dog lover return from the world of impossible contradictions when one set of negating words is suddenly replaced with and.
They do get cut for a reason, though.
