As it turns out, this was not the only fable with a questionable moral (1). I figured it couldn’t hurt for me to try and help Aesop out a little bit and offer up an improved moral when I could do so. A handful of my attempts are below.
'The Fisherman Who Played The Flute' – a fisherman tries to lure his catch by playing a flute. He gets nothing. Then, he throws a net into the water and pulls out many fish. When they wriggle on the ground, he yells at them about not dancing to the music.
Moral: Some people always do things at the wrong moment.
Uhhh…what?
My thoughts:
1. How does the fisherman know the fish weren’t dancing underwater? It seems like that would be a great time (and place) to dance.
2. Obviously, he knew enough to use the net.TYC: Some people don’t know how to fish.
'The Fox and the Billy-Goat' – a fox falls into a well and gets stuck. He then tricks a billy-goat into coming down into the well for a drink. When the goat’s thirst is quenched, they agree to help each other out of the well. The fox gets out, then walks away, telling the goat “you should have thought of how you’d get out before you went in.”
Moral: Always examine the end result before taking action.
Ridiculous. There are several reasoning flaws in this story but the ‘end result’ idea isn’t among them. Obviously, the fox didn’t examine anything and it worked out just fine. The goat did think of a way out, he just got stabbed in the back by the fox. Stories like this encourage victim blaming and glorify an ‘every goat for himself’ mentality.
TYC: The fox is an f’ing asshole.
'The North Wind and The Sun' – the title characters have a contest to see who could get a traveler to take off his clothes. The North Wind goes first – he blows and blows, causing the man to simply wrap the clothing tighter to his body with each gust.
Then, The Sun shines brightly. As the man starts to sweat, the clothes come off. Eventually, The Sun shines so brightly that the man strips naked and jumps into a river to cool off.
Moral: Persuasion is more effective than violence.
What the hell? What could be more violent than trying to fry someone with ultraviolet rays? If I gave someone skin cancer, I sure wouldn't be described as 'persuasive'. The sun is a violent sociopath who should probably be locked up.
TYC: Dictating the way others use their bodies is violent.
Footnotes / Aesop's rocky calculus
1. It’s just math, folks.
This isn’t a dig at Aesop – with over 358 fables, he was bound to get a moral wrong here and there. These aren't criticisms, just observations!
