Nelson explores sexuality, gender, marriage, and a host of other really easy topics to write about in this 2015 memoir. It was among the books I reread this past December (and worth every previously encountered syllable).
As is often the case for the very good books I read, I’m not enthused by the idea of a classic TOA-style reading review. I also didn’t think this book was written in a way my limited writing abilities could make much sense of.
So, I figured I’d dust off the proper admin concept instead. As they say, when the going gets tough, bury it in admin…
If anything, the scattershot nature of my own critically acclaimed half-baked organizing concept will evoke associations with Nelson’s award-winning, best-selling, and genre-blurring memoir.
Thanks for reading
Tim
What’s an Argonaut?
The title is a reference to a ship, the Argo, whose parts change over time yet retains its name all the while…
Sounds like a metaphor –
Doesn’t it?
So what are The Argonauts?
Beats me. A band?
Are you about to make a joke about how a band’s members –
No, I was not.
Introducing: The Insofar Index (page thirteen…)
Anytime I come across ‘insofar’ in my reading, I find my eyes roll just a tiny little bit. It’s an involuntary reaction, but still. It happened last year as I read The Origins of Totalitarianism and it happened again when I worked through The Ethics of Ambiguity.
I’m not entirely sure why I react to this word like a petulant second-grader being told to do more math homework. It might be because I see this word as a little too academic or a little too pompous or a little too old-fashioned. It might be for any combination of those reasons.
But whatever the case is, the reality is that I see the word and I sigh. What to do, what to do? Go to page fourteen, I guess.
What to do? Well, growing up would certainly be an overreaction…
Maybe I should just write down each instance of the word and start building an ‘insofar index’, a collection of books where I’ve seen the word appear. If anything, it’ll give me something else to do. And if I keep at it long enough, I might accidentally compile a list of great writing. This is because, you see reader, no matter what I think of ‘insofar’, it only seems to come up in the midst of a great work.
A trick for writers...?
Nelson makes a reference in one passage to the difficulty of avoiding pronouns. Her advice is to develop a habit of using names and, more generally, to start leaning on plurality.
It reminds me of how I’ve gotten around certain challenging sentences in my own writing. Instead of using a clunky expression like ‘his or her’ or relying on the ever-tempting ‘one’, I’ve found it far simpler to use a plural construction.
Singular: a good writer never allows his or her…
Plural: good writers never allow their…
Good lord…
The Argonauts brings in a number of quotes from outside sources. One of the better guest appearances is from Audre Lorde, my summary of her contribution as follows:
The cultural obsession with optimism distracts us from the importance of producing real food and breathing clean air on a planet with a sustainable future.One of the ‘to-do’ items I created after finishing The Argonauts was to do a fuller exploration of Lorde’s work. So far, I’ve only read Sister Outsider, a collection of Lorde's essays and speeches from 1976 to 1984. MY next read will be The Cancer Journals and we'll see where I go from there.
It is occurring to me as I write that I perhaps originally picked up Sister Outsider after making ‘explore Audre Lorde’s writing’ resolution in the wake of first reading The Argonauts back in March 2016. It’s funny how, at some level, we are all programmed insofar as how we’ll always respond in the same way to the same stimulus.
The Insofar Index - A Prequel
The Insofar Index – outlined in my smarmy note above – is a descendant from ‘ The Marshmallow Index’, a failed concept from early on in my reading life (which means, like, late 2010 through about mid-2012). In those heady days, I came across references to academic studies fairly often in the microeconomics and pop-psychology books I tended to read.
The most common study I ran into was ‘The Marshmallow Test’, a deplorable experiment that demonstrated how willing academics are to torture children in the name of a null hypothesis. The test was constructed as follows:
First, the academic would ask a child to resist eating a marshmallow for as long as possible in order to earn a reward. Then, after around fifteen minutes or so, the reward would be given, assuming the child did not eat the first marshmallow, of course, because a gluttonous child deserves no reward, only public mockery decades later in some silly bestseller, but if the child did resist then the reward would be given, this reward of course being another marshmallow, because, well, because resisting the urge to eat one marshmallow to get another marshmallow proves willpower, because… I forget.
The academics, incredibly, linked these results to future performance on things like standardized tests, because, you know, the whole marshmallow thing, what it proves beyond a reasonable doubt is, that, umm, which… oh, whatever. Short version of the last three paragraphs: I thought this test was nonsense.
Anyway, my proposed index would have been a list of books with a note about the first appearance of the study in the book. It was like clockwork, the way this study appeared in these books, and I always sensed its arrival like a cow sniffing out a spring storm - here comes that marshmallow test...
Looking back, I kind of wish I’d done it, honestly, mostly because there is no chance I’d do it now – I’ve learned that the 'reward' for reading a book prominently featuring ‘The Marshmallow Test’ is, fittingly, usually getting to read another book prominently featuring ‘The Marshmallow Test’ and, well, by now, if it isn't obvious, I don't really think reading books that feature this test is a great use of my time...
These days, if I see a marshmallow, I eat it, and I don’t care about what some academic says this means for my weekend. And if I ever have kids, I'm going to teach them to eat their damn marshmallows, ASAP, because life is short and the ice cream melts quickly. I don’t know if this says anything about my willpower or not.
And what does this RANT have to do with The Argonauts?
People change.
This reminds me of something I’ve written before…
For some reason, people feel it is acceptable to say anything as long as it is based on some kind of association. This might explain some of the hurtful things otherwise kind and decent people say to one another. As Sheryl Sandberg points out in Option B, when someone gets a case of lemons, let’s not talk about our cousin who died of lemons, even if we did like that cousin quite a bit and have nothing else to say as it regards the topic of lemons.
We all slip up at some point…
Upon discovering that the child she carries is going to be male, Nelson takes a moment to mourn the lost fantasy of a feminist daughter. So far, so good... I support sharing feelings and self-expression and all that.
However, she goes on to lament the inability to braid a son’s hair. Line crossed! Come look at my head, please! I braid my hair every night, whether I need to or not, and do so despite the obstacle of my you-know-what.
And, you know, short male hair is another example of... ah, never mind.
Doesn’t Nelson advise against making a fetish of the unsaid?
Well, the thing about that, you see, is, umm, well…
The Insofar Index - A Sequel
This book mentions hospice volunteers. I didn’t note the page. If I were to start tracking when 'hospice volunteering' appeared in the books I read, I think this book would be first on the list. Maybe I’ll have to write the second.
So, did you leave the apartment at all?
I did, actually. I left as soon as I read the section about how some people are willing to take a leap only if they receive a guarantee against bad consequences. Emboldened, I bundled up, went outside into the snow, and almost immediately slipped on the ice.
Anything else?
I liked the idea that dismissing nuance is a way to bring completeness to the unfinished. To the spirit of that thought as well as some others – including that willfully erasing obstacles does not lead to mastery – I think I need to do a couple more posts for this book. So, look for those in the coming weeks.
And as always, thanks for reading.
