When it comes to being able to ‘control a pause’, I think my skills are just about average. I can think of plenty of times when I’ve been fully in control of silence while making a complex point. However, I’ve been cutoff plenty of times mid-word as well, sometimes during words that I really should finish – Japanese, astronomy, tiger…
As I’ve started paying more attention to this skill, I’ve noticed all the different ways people without full mastery of this ability get by without it. The most direct way is to simply ask for command because most people will not interrupt if the speaker asks them. However, I sometimes suspect this results in the listener simply waiting (and therefore not listening) until it becomes appropriate to interrupt. This isn’t the ideal set of conditions for careful listening – how can a listener pay attention while also thinking about a way to interrupt (1)?
A less direct but more formal way is to use structure to prevent or discourage interruptions. There are countless examples of structured exchanges where interruption is almost impossible – ceremonies, speeches, presentations, and so on. The hallmark of these structured exchanges is a built-in moment when it is possible (and perhaps even superficially encouraged) to interrupt. However, anyone present usually understands it is considered rude or even taboo to do so.
Footnotes / how can there be a footnote for a two hundred word post?
1. Wait, say this again?
It’s also possible that an interruption is necessary for understanding the rest of the discussion (a point often lost on someone who asks for no interruptions). If listeners cannot interrupt to get a point of confusion clarified, the result is an illusion of engagement within conversations.
