I think the ease of texting is a barrier to meaningful communication. I first thought of this when my mom died. A lot of people got in touch with texts and I appreciated each and every one of those messages.
But two years after the fact, I don't remember a single word from those messages. It's like those thoughts, sentiments, and condolences all disappeared (maybe my mom brought them with her into The Wherever).
Interestingly, I do remember what the people who called or spoke to me in person said (1). Those words, for whatever reason, I've managed to keep for myself. I don't have much to go on here as an explanation except that, maybe, the medium of communication is important in some way for how I store words away for later.
It played out again when I lost my job. Again, many got in touch with texts. Almost two years later have passed, though, and I don't remember any of them. I do remember the one person who did call, what we talked about, and how much the conversation meant to me.
These realizations don't lead me to any additional insights. I'm not here to run out a list of cliches about how we communicate with our voices, our body language, our presence, or whatever. Those are just the things that happened to me and maybe there is no connection between what was said and what I remember.
Still... it is interesting, isn't it? The internet has been around for twenty years or so and most folks are perfectly comfortable with it by now. We use it to make agreements, buy things, or send condolences. And yet, I still think most prefer face-to-face communication whenever possible. When I wander about town, I still see salespeople who make face-to-face deals for a living. I thought the internet had won... so why isn't the game over?
Again, I could speculate, but not today. Instead, I'll leave you with my rule of thumb. If a text takes more than a minute to write, toss it. It's probably a good indicator that a call, email, or just waiting to chat until the next time you see the person is a better approach.
Footnotes / imagined complaints
1. Let's clarify: I just wanted to use the example to point out how my recollection of the time seems to align with the form of communication used...
I should make it clear how I'm not saying people should stop texting during a difficult time. Texting is great and often is the best way to get in touch. In the case of a death, the opportunity to go to a funeral or memorial service makes the idea of communicating 'meaningfully' beforehand more or less irrelevant. And in other situations, texting is the best way to set plans, align schedules, or gather information. Don't overthink things - it is better to communicate by text than to not communicate at all. The meaningful communication can always come later.
