Let's take another brief break from my 'not writing this book' series.
For today, I asked The Business Bro to step in and offer his perspective.
Back next week with more of the usual crap.
Tim
Genre: How-To / Business Parody
Title: The Daily Micromanager
Estimated publication date: Posthumous, hopefully
I was wandering around a bookstore last April and noticed a plethora of books offering up one-page prompts for budding creators. One book was filled with topic suggestions for journal entries. Another challenged the reader to draw something based on the description atop the otherwise blank page. These were books written by an author...sort of...but to me it appeared as if the reader was doing all the actual work.
Or to put it another way, it seemed like an easy way to get my name on the cover of a book without actually writing a book. Pure brilliance. But how would I do this?
The micromanager was the best idea I came up with. For some reason, these days micromanagement is getting a bad rap (1). I could take up the cause and try to repair this unfair assessment, of course. Perhaps I could even write a book about it.
But wouldn't it be easier to just have everyone else repair the assessment for themselves by showing everyone the way to micromanage properly? If the full-length book is like the dentist with the drill, what I'm proposing is akin to having people teach themselves how to brush and floss properly.
Now, to details. The title plays a little bit on the word because the book would offer one small prompt (editor's note: micro) for budding leaders (editor's note: manager) to implement immediately. I would start on January 1 because business never rests with something like the following:
Think of one way to reorganize the office layout to improve your ability to supervise direct reports...Of course, I'm not completely lazy. Remember, reader, micromanagers are usually the hardest working people in the office. It takes time to control everyone! So, I'll offer up a solution or two in the back of the book just in case it's one of those days and everyone would benefit from speeding things up.
For the prompt above, I might include this answer:
Build a standing desk for yourself directly behind EACH of your direct reports!But really, reader, the idea here is for YOU to become a micromanager, not me. So buy a bunch of standing desks and get back to work!
Once I've properly set the tone, the book would settle into a pattern. Early in the week, the prompts will be more direct. Here's one example:
Criticize a colleague with a sentence that starts with the words 'I liked...'As the week goes on, the prompts will start to look long-term. This is one I just came up with:
Devise an incentive scheme which will force your team to work longer hours in a desperate attempt to win a trivial prize.The weekend and holiday prompts would encourage some form of work-home cross-pollination:
Identify one process in your personal life which could benefit from a regular biweekly touch-base.I like the potential for this book (2). Let me know if you want to pre-order!
Signed,
The Business Bro
Footnotes / a finger point here, a spin-off there, and please don't sue me...
0. Parody?
The Daily Drucker is one example of the many similar books to this one. Since my title plays off his, I'll go so far as to say it is the best example of the book I'll attempt to mock/mimic here.
1. Blame game...
And who is voicing these criticisms? Surely, the incompetent employees in your company, the ones who are so dependent on direction, the ones you worry might forget to breathe if you weren't around to remind them! In other words, I'm sure those criticizing micromanagers are the very ones who need micromanagement!
Hardly. I suppose this one would translate so easily to one of those 'page a day' calendars that I would just coast off reprinting it in such a form for at least one more year.
