One thing I've noticed over two-plus years of city cycling is just how much a good bike rider has in common with a good NFL player. This isn't just a surface analogy, reader, this isn't your local high school coach saying his fastest players have good wheels or a passing observation about how bike riders sometimes use hand signals just like helmet football players do.
No, reader, this goes much deeper, right down to the basic skills and motivations central to the respective crafts. These observations are the Venn diagram of philosophy and action, the result of a thinker taking a doer out for a long lunch. I think the following observations understood in full - and taken with the appropriate degree of seriousness - will help helmet football players learn from the city bike rider, and vice versa.
So, as the Super Bowl - aka The Annual Last Patriots Game Of The Year - approaches, we here at TOA tip our cap to another successful helmet football season by looking ahead to the start of the city cycling season through the lens of this somewhat pointless sport. Below, I've organized a few of my favorite insights from over two years on wheels by helmet football position.
Enjoy, and good luck.
Tim
Quarterback: A one way street is easier to bike on
My first city cycling experience came in New York. My friends and I rented bikes from the Big Apple's version of Hubway, Citibike, and we spent the day cruising through Manhattan and Brooklyn.
I was surprised by how easy biking in the city was. I expected the traffic and the pedestrians and those famous cab drivers to turn the biking experience into a death trap. But no, it couldn't have been any easier if I'd had a police escort. I encountered nary an issue on that fine September day.
When I returned to the game a few months later in Boston, I found my expectations were more accurate. Drivers and pedestrians found inventive ways to cut me off and my fellow bikers were no help. Was Boston a far worse traffic town than New York?
The answer came to me the next summer when I was biking in Washington DC. Many of the streets there are - like New York - one way. And one way streets are simply easier to bike on.
The key difference is how threats are only coming from one direction. This makes it far simpler to keep track of traffic. In two-way traffic, I'm constantly worried by what's coming at me as much as what's going by. Do they still teach left turn technique in driving school? And in looking down the road or across the street, I sometimes miss a more imminent threat directly in front.
This applies to young NFL quarterbacks as much as it does to new bikers. Teams often design simplified plays for new players which require the quarterback to only look at one part of the field. For those not up to date on their helmet football tactics, it works a little like politics - in a simplified offense, the quarterback looks to the left or to the right.
An inexperienced quarterback forced to scan the entire field looks a lot like yours truly trying to sort out the intersection in Porter Square. By cutting down the field of vision in half, there is less to worry about and safe decisions are easier to make for bikers - or quarterbacks - of any experience level.
Full back: Hit the holes hard...
The full back is often assigned the job of blocking. The role is to find the blocking opportunity and step up immediately. By doing this, the player is out of the way while also preventing an incoming threat from endangering a teammate.
Cyclists have this responsibility, particularly in complex city intersections. A tentative rider can confuse following cyclists or invite others into the riding path. The resulting chaos might lead to accidents. A good rider, once the path forward is obvious, must not hesitate.
Running back: ...but be ready to bounce outside
The running back often follows the full back into the thick of the action. The optimal strategy is generally to trail the full back and wait for the right moment to break past him. However, in some cases, the running back must ditch the original design and find a better path. This move is often referred to as 'bouncing outside' because the running back will vacate the center of the field and sprint into space on the edges.
A city cyclist often makes the same calculation. The painted bike lanes and the subtle pull of the rider ahead suggest the best course. But sometimes, reality changes quickly and a shift in another direction is required. Whether to avoid a suddenly opening car door, getting around a parked bus, or passing a wobbly rider, the need to 'bounce outside' is a feeling familiar to anyone who has navigated a city on two wheels.
Wide receiver: Always remember the job description
Pundits, coaches, and even the athletes themselves like to complicate the job description for this position. How fast does he run? How high does he jump? Does he have big hands? Did his dad play in the NFL? Is he on Twitter?
The reality is far simpler. Good receivers in the NFL do two things:
1) Run a route to get openIn summary, wide receivers run routes and catch balls. Fail at one or the other and the player does not succeed.
2) Catch the ball thrown to them
Drivers, pedestrians, and even the riders themselves like to complicate the job description for cyclists. How fast do they pedal? Are they wearing helmets? Do they stay on the sidewalk? Do they stay off the sidewalk? Do they use hand signals? Are they on drugs?
The reality is far simpler. Good riders do two things:
1) Never pass on the rightIn summary, a good bike rider never passes on the right and is always ready to stop. Fail at one or the other and the rider is destined for failure.
2) Always be ready to stop
Offensive line: have a plan for traffic
Most football plays start many seconds before the ball moves. During this time, the offensive line studies the defensive formation. Is the linebacker backing away? Does the lineman directly in front have all his weight on one leg or the other? Are the defensive backs responsive to motion or holding their ground?
After identifying the threats, the linemen make adjustments to maximize the play's chances of success. Then, the play starts and they give it their best shot.
Bike riders must do the same at a traffic light. A successful trip across an intersection starts long before the signal changes. While idling at the red, a cyclist must study the pattern and identify imminent threats. Is the car in the left-hand blind spot angled for a right-turn? Does the oncoming car have a left turn signal on? Are there any special arrows or crosswalk features? Are any fellows riders lurching out into the intersection, doing that weird thing where they move their legs back and forth on the pedals, as if the very act of touching the pavement with their foot would immediately cause a lightning bolt to strike them square on the forehead?
All of these factors must be studied and considered to ensure the safest possible passage across.
Defensive end: one move and go...
The end is often assigned the job of pressuring the quarterback. This is a difficult task; the end must cover several yards of ground in just a couple of seconds to get to the opponent before the ball is thrown. Further complicating the job is the presence of one blocker (or more) whose sole job is to prevent the end from reaching the quarterback in time.
Given the constraints, the end cannot dance, bob, or weave. Instead, a good end makes one move - perhaps a bull rush, maybe a spin move, sometimes just a dead sprint around the opponent - and goes for the gold.
City cyclists often get into trouble when they do not commit at an intersection. The approach should always be to get to the other side as quickly as possible - one move and go. Those who coast through without pedaling, drift to one side of a lane, or fail to assert their right of way run the risk of the light changing while they are in the intersection. This leads to possible collisions with clueless pedestrians or distracted drivers whose collective grasp on basic intersection jurisprudence is, at best, self-serving.
Defensive tackle: ...but hold your ground, too
The fastest route from point A is a straight line to point B. In football, point A is the line of scrimmage and point B is the end zone. Most defenses account for this by positioning their biggest players - the defensive tackles - directly in front of where the football starts on each play. The jobs of these players are relatively simple in the sport - engage the blockers in front to prevent the opponent from taking the easiest path forward.
Bike riders are often put into a similar position, usually as a result of sloppy infrastructure decisions. A street with no bike lane or excessive on-street parking often squeezes drivers and riders together into the same sporadically paved space. Like a defensive tackle, the cyclist cannot give in to pressure from drivers employing the 'A to B' theory outlined above. Drifting to one side in order to allow passing is a high-risk tactic. The law is clear in these situations - share the road. A good cyclist holds ground by getting right in front of the trailing car so as to leave no room for confusion.
Linebacker: hit rather than be hit
A linebacker's mentality is vital to the success of the defense. He must find the quickest route to the where ballcarrier is going amidst the traffic created by falling linemen, overzealous teammates, and the sleight-of-hand employed by the opposing quarterback. A good linebacker is often in the thick of the action and usually leads the team in tackles.
Sometimes, though, things go wrong. Often, the linebacker must sacrifice himself to allow a teammate to make the play. This happens very suddenly, like when a ball carrier and a blocker emerge together from a pile and converge on the linebacker. In this two-vs-one scenario, the linebacker must hit the blocker and hope to win the collision in time to get to the ball carrier. If he fails, at least the blocker is unable to hit a teammate.
A cyclist sometimes gets caught in the same trap. It's all going well but suddenly, a car pulls out in front or a parked door opens up in the riding path. What to do? The preferred action is to swerve, of course, and avoid the collision. But a biker can only do this when there is full knowledge of a safe space to the left or right. Otherwise, swerving might bring not safety but greater harm - an unsighted car in the left-hand blind spot or a hard-charging cyclist coming in from behind is a bigger threat in most cases than an angled collision into sighted obstacle ahead.
The move here is to hit the car first. Crashing into a visible car or a door is preferred to being hit from behind by a fast-moving threat. If the rider controls the collision, there is little risk of being thrown into the street and being dragged underneath a moving car. The best way to do it is to get low, if possible, to lower the risk of flipping over, and aim for the back end of the vehicle if possible to limit exposure to the wheels.
Cornerback: don't get caught looking
The corner back is responsible for staying with the opposing wide receiver or covering a specific area of the field. Often, they get into trouble when they are distracted by looking at the quarterback instead of focusing on the player they are assigned or the zone they are overseeing.
Bike riding presents the same temptations. The responsibility is to remain vigilant to threats and keep the eyes on the road. But look, the Charles River! What a view! And is that a new ice cream place on the left? Wait...who's THAT jogging by?
Don't get caught looking, kids. Keep the eyes on the road.
Safety: never commit too early
The safety is often the last line of the defense. A good safety keeps everything in front of him. Only until the ball is upon him does the safety move upfield to nullify the threat.
There are many times when cyclist must adopt this mentality. The best case is when a car ahead is turning into the bike path. It is true in most of these cases that the bike rider has the right of way but I'm not sure if anyone hanging out up there by the pearly gates is going to be very interested. The approach here must be cautious - when in doubt, the cyclist should wait to proceeded until the driver makes it clear that the right-turn is not imminent.
Punt returner: fair catch judiciously
Punts are among helmet football's least predictable plays. Sometimes, the ball is kicked straight out of bounds; other times, the booming ball lands right on the spot where the return man has been waiting all long.
By contrast, if the ball is caught, the scene is pretty predictable - the ball is returned just a few yards before the ball carrier is tackled by half the opposing team.
For such small gains, the risk of losing the ball is not worth it. This is why many returners opt for the fair catch if the punt is not kicked to their liking. The fair catch allows the returner to catch the ball safely without being hit. The play ends as soon as the ball is caught, however, meaning there is no opportunity to gain those extra seven feet described above.
The cyclist often makes a similar trade-off. In many cases, a small gain is possible if a larger risk is taken. The best example is zipping through a red light at an unknown intersection. This could also happen while making a left turn across multiple lanes of oncoming traffic. I can see why the rider might want to make these moves, of course, but when the reward is so small, why not just play it safe? Stick a foot in the ground or use the left turn box instead.
Kickers: practice!
A kicker is a strange creature on the football roster. Though these players rarely get involved, their success often determines the winner or loser of a close game. To do the job effectively requires constant practice in preparation for all kinds of different scenarios. When called upon, the prepared kicker is ready to complete the job.
A cyclist should do the same. On lazy mornings with little else to do, find a good place to practice those problem techniques. If left-turns are difficult, get to an empty street and do left turns over and over until it makes sense. Do the same if using the bike lane on a bridge is intimidating - get out there when the traffic is light and put some time into the craft. On empty streets, practice going as fast as possible - and then suddenly stopping. If you have access to a grassy area, do the same thing but include falling, too.
Trust me, rider, when it comes down to crunch time, you won't know what's coming but you'll be grateful you practiced.
Punters: if it isn't going to work, get out there with plan B
You know what, reader? Sometimes, it just doesn't happen. The rooster forgets to crow, the bread fails to rise, the belt refuses to buckle, and life just goes on, whether your pants are on or not.
In these cases, the good cyclist knows to head for the subway or pulls up the ride-share app. And the helmet football player? Well, mock the punter if you must, but he isn't getting the kick away without your help...
So, do block hard and come back ready to fight - or pedal - another day.
