Good morning,
My apologies if you are reading this in the afternoon. I am simply assuming it is early in the morning because a Budding Business Bro always wakes up bright and early to tend to matters of business! And of course, this blog is targeted only at those serious about developing their business acumen.
In fact, my target audience is likely so absorbed in work that other parts of life are slipping. It's true, right? It's OK, I assure you, it happens from time to time to all of us BB's. Sometimes, work can fill in for those slipping (or entirely missing) parts of life.
One such area is friends. You might be so absorbed at work that you've forgotten you even have friends! Not to worry, though. If you remain mired permanently in this pattern, eventually you won't have those friends. But if you can make friends at work, on average not much will have changed.
The intersection of friendship and work is a tricky area to navigate for a manager. It is especially complicated if you are leaving colleagues behind in your ascent up the hierarchy. When I was making such a climb, I was advised by someone I respected to no longer 'be one of the peeps'. This was good advice (if not a little strangely worded) but I needed a little more input to know exactly where to draw the line.
Andy Grove's remarkable book, High Output Management, made the best insight into this topic I've heard so far. He drew the line at a very simple place: response to feedback. If someone you manage is not responsive to your feedback, you cannot maintain any semblance of a non-work relationship. The only thing that matters at this point is to build the professional relationship to a point where both manager and employee can participate equally in a two-way feedback conversation. All the other stuff has to wait.
If you are managing multiple people and you are friends with some but not others, keep an especially close eye on the above. Someone who is unresponsive to your feedback AND has reason to sense you have some sort of 'inner circle' will become more difficult to manage over time. This can be a positive thing if you are capable enough to identify it, however, because this person is also the first person who is pointing out your failure in the manager role. Respond to this signal by putting the other friendships on hold, building your professional rapport with everyone in the team, and re-establishing the communication channels needed to run a strong group.
Making friends at work is a good thing and often a marker of a good job. After all, we spend so much of our time at work. Jobs can allow for socialization, a sense of accomplishment, a chance to learn, and a place to belong. In the best environments, perhaps all of those are possible.
But for a manager, none of these things can come in ahead of what's best for the business.
Until next time,
The Business Bro
