Here’s a rather pointless analogy to summarize the book. Let’s say you sit on a merry-go-round or, if you are certain type of person, a carousel. The music starts and you go round and round. At first, it is fun, even merry, and you enjoy the sights and sounds of the ride. Eventually, though, you get a bit antsy. You start to think why am I here? or is this all there is? or the plastic seat is hurting my butt.
And so you look ahead and you decide, hey, I want to catch the horse in front of me! That would be better, that would be progress, and so you focus intently. At first, you rise above the target and you think, well, actually, I’m above it, so who cares if I catch it? And you think you’ve let go, but suddenly the horse is above you, and you are annoyed, but before you can decide what to do next, you are above it again, and it is unclear if you are winning or losing or falling back or catching up and you just focus on the target in front, you block it all out, and you notice nothing and think of nothing except catching the horse in front. Pretty soon, a police officer is tapping you on the shoulder and asking you why a grown adult like you is keeping all these nice little children waiting in line (1).
For her, the spirit of Zen is awakening to the immediate moment with all our senses attuned to the surrounding world. It is, in short, the heightening of self-awareness. It shares an ethos with therapy in how it establishes an individual’s capacity for self-observation. People attuned to their own self-imposed boundaries learn to be aware of them and find ways to step over the lines.
Once people act based on their understanding of self, the internal problems tend to go away. Outside observers may not ‘get it’ but for the individual there are no anxieties, concerns, or issues.
This spirit is not to be confused with exchanging sources of authority. People who choose to 'become their own boss' are still submitting to perhaps the most meaningless authority - themselves! The only authority is life, reader. This means being grounded in actions based on reality rather than living passively based on outdated belief systems.
One up: Beck invokes the concept of absence to make certain points. Above, I highlighted a thought about how the approach to authority is not a question of finding the right person but rather the task of discarding the 'right person' concept altogether.
Enlightenment is another example. The enlightened individual has not reached a goal or a target but rather learned to leave behind the goals and targets a person can become concerned with over time.
I thought the idea was best exemplified in her comments about practice. Good practice is not about doing this or doing that in some set order. Rather, it is about knowing what practice is not and going from there.
A good sign that someone does not understand practice is when he or she says I have no time to practice. Hmmm…
If practice becomes life, busyness is practice. I don’t do anything resembling the Zen practice of sitting but I do stop at red lights and I never run for the subway. I would get where I'm going a little earlier, for sure, but...what would be the point? An athlete who eats a salad instead of a cheeseburger is practicing, a doctor who stays up all night watching TV is not. If a world leader flies to a global warming conference in a private jet, is this practice?
Since it is possible to practice all the time, it is not possible to have no time for practice.
One down: This book works because it is authentic and honest about what the author believes in. But for all the high-minded talk about discarding belief systems, the book remains a description of a belief system. This belief system is called Zen practice.
I suppose this is an inevitable issue with a certain type of book project.
Just saying: The observation that saying I will communicate better to improve the relationship really means I will communicate better so you see what I want made me laugh out loud.
Don’t worry about tangentially related things like communication, folks - just focus on improving the relationship.
Just saying, part two: I also had a laugh when Beck pointed out how academics save the world every day by writing books (and every night at dinner talking about it).
Just saying, part three: I joked recently at my friend’s wedding that there are two ways to deal with midday fatigue. One approach is to drink a cup of coffee and hope to perk up. The other way is to start drinking alcohol and hope to forget the fatigue…
This book is easy to read in so many ways. It is relatively short, well-written, and uses simple, clear language. As a result, I suspect it understates the challenge of living up to its principles. Like in my joke above, it is easy to simply say ah, kid, have a beer and forget your wants and desires… without acknowledging how doing this in the wrong way will bring outright harm to the body.
So, reader, approach the concepts in this book with respect. It essentially demands we reverse the programming we've relied on since birth, the belief that the only way to meet our needs is to bring the loudest cry out of our terrified bodies until it gets someone's attention. It is indeed no mystery how the fears, anxieties, and concerns that run amok in the unsettled mind are so difficult to ignore!
It is a big task to start the journey away from the self-centered approach that comes so naturally in response to life's difficulties. But a self-centered life is a disconnected one. The people who identify less and less with themselves find it easier to include more into their lives. They are able to support others because they give without demanding a return. The form of loneliness this life implies is overcome only by devoting everything to everyone. As cooks everywhere understand, preparing food for others is the best way to prevent their own starvation.
Footnotes / imagined complaints
1. So, is this analogy really the entire book?
It can be, if you want, but I’m open to your protest, reader. It is a silly story, isn’t it, and how could such a story represent what I considered a pretty good book?
