Last Wednesday, I wrote a post about a lesson learned from job interviews and
linked it to Parker J. Palmer's advice about advice. In thinking over
those concepts, I was reminded of a poem I shared here a few months ago.
John
O'Donohue's 'Thought Work', put an image in my mind of a crow gathering twigs to build a
nest. The way we synthesize our experiences to form our professional and
personal selves works in a similar way. Over time, we collect bits and
pieces of wisdom from those around us and we pick out what we need to
form a place for ourselves.
I think the way we consider advice or
feedback works the same way. But it takes a long time to build a worthwhile thing. Often, the temptation to help others accelerate the process is difficult to resist.
It's tempting to explain to others
the step-by-step instructions in how to find, arrange, and secure loose
twigs into a nest. After all, we've seen it done before and by now know
which method is best.
It's tempting to bring twigs over, one by one,
and explain how each one is the most important stick thus
far. It's a nice thing to do because we
remember all the twigs we once thought of as inconsequential that we walked past. Only through the clarity of hindsight did we recognize their true importance. It's hard to watch another repeat our mistakes.
It's tempting to deliver a finished nest and declare the job done. When we finally find home, all we want to do is
share the feeling. We forget so quickly that home is not one thing, but
everything. It is the fusion of experience and understanding. The home
that comes in a box demands its residents box themselves in.
There
is so much value in just showing where the trees are. We
can point or, maybe, it makes sense to fly ahead. The crow knows how to
follow, and will, if it is time. When it finds the forest, a crow knows
what to do. Everything it will need is there. And when the job is done,
it will be very difficult to say exactly where each piece of its nest came from.
