We Learn Nothing by Tim Kreider (March 2017)
I wrote about this essay collection a few months ago. I enjoyed it so much I vowed to reread it in order to take notes. For once on TOA, I followed through on what I said I would do.
We Learn Nothing is a memorable collection that covers a wide range of topics- mental disorder, politics, sex changes, and junior high school social dynamics. But most of the chapters share an underlying sadness- each acknowledges in its own way how forces outside individual control pull people away from each other. Kreider writes of the difficulty of these separations with perspective, wit, and irreverence. He often bookends his essays with cartoons that point out the most hilarious aspect of his viewpoint.
One idea highlights the main concept best. Kreider writes of being 'broken up with' by a friend. But unlike the romantic equivalent, a friend break up is a non-event. Kreider concluded that the friendship was over after many months of unreturned calls, ignored messages, and assurances from mutual acquaintances that (insert name of former friend here) was doing 'just great'. Friendship, the most voluntary of activities, seems doomed to end without ceremony.
I related to the idea immediately. Over the course of just a few post-college years, I can look at a number of friendships that ended in such fashion. Some of these friends lived far away and I simply did not make the effort to keep in touch. Others lived within walking distance yet the excuses for not catching up were more plentiful than occasions to get together.
Why does such a thing happen? The obvious answer is that someone changes. When this happens, the terms a relationship was built on no longer apply. The challenge is posed, usually to one party more so than the other, to change in order to preserve the friendship.
It is easy to be open-minded when it costs little. Kreider cites an example of this that intrigued me. As a child, I read or heard many stories about The Lone Voice Of Reason. This figure was often met with ridicule or dismissal- until the end of the story, that is, when the dissenting figure was proven to be right all along.
It never quite plays out like this in real life, though. Those who fail to play out their assigned roles are quickly tossed aside by those who, though fully content to speak of high-minded ideals when they have to give up nothing, fail to live up to their own standards when something tangible is suddenly on the line.
One up: The idea that the stories people grow up with do not fully carry over into 'real life' is a lesser but still important theme of the book. Kreider points out that though many favor 'the bold romantic gesture', this is often advocated by those who envision Prince Charming himself as part of the equation.
In reality, the line between The Bold Romantic Gesture and stalking is perhaps a little thinner than is portrayed in certain books or movies.
One down: I thought a couple of the essays dragged out. Readers who do not enjoy the author's voice have my blessing to skip to the next chapter in such cases.
An example from his essay about peak oil highlights my point. In this essay, Kreider refers to a friend who is trying to convince everyone around him of imminent doomsday. Referring to a nine page long email, Kreider remarks along the lines that although there was nothing unreasonable in the email, a nine page long email is unreasonable.
The same idea might apply to a couple of the essay topics- though an essay on the matter is reasonable, the length of the essay is less so. Given his considerable skills as a cartoonist, I'm sure he would have found a way to get his points across in a book three-fourths the length.
Just saying: Kreider brings politics into this collection from time to time, an unsurprising development for those familiar with his work as satirical cartoonist during the Bush administration. His 'anti-Bush' leanings are evident from the start and he wastes no time in extending some specific examples to highlight larger points- in one example, he references the government's response to Hurricane Katrina as ominous evidence of how quickly elites will leave behind the unprivileged if properly motivated to do so.
And yet, Kreider brings some unexpected balance to his viewpoints. He cites, for example, that Bush tripled humanitarian aid in Africa. And in reference to those on both sides of a divisive issue, Kreider concedes that many seem to choose sides applying the same criteria high-schoolers use to attend parties- who else is going to be there?
Perhaps an insight from an unrelated essay summarizes his thoughts on politics. For some reason, people take their negative moods more seriously than their positive ones. Depression is often cited as clarifying or exposing truth yet euphoria is considered an almost accidental emotion. In assessing the accomplishments of political opponents, the negative is cited as revealing the true person behind the deed, the positive merely an accident, perhaps committed with the cynical intent to win votes or curry favor among the hoodwinked and mindless that form the opposition.
