I think the remedy for failures to relate is better sharing. In analyzing my own nature and considering the topics which I write easily about, my ease with sharing my thinking is confirmed by how easily I write about thinking. My writing will improve if I expand my ability to share what I find funny and what I find moving.
It's a difficult process, no doubt about it, but that's the way it goes sometimes. I'm tempted to pause during difficult moments of writing and I often give in to the temptation. I'm most likely to hit the pause button when the signs of progress are so difficult to see.
In the speech I highlight for the original post, Coach Valvano (like any great coach) prepares his audience for such moments. He concludes his speech with his famous words- "don't give up, don't ever give up". I imagine it is a perfect slogan for The V Foundation, named in his honor, because I suspect the infrequent signs of progress discourage cancer researchers every day.
But despite the uncertainty inherent in any research endeavor, the ethos described by the quote has pushed his foundation forward in its cause. No doubt, countless others have drawn strength from the same words in their own moments of difficulty or darkness. It's never too late to try again, particularly if all you are doing is trying to get a little better. And its never the right time to give up.
Times have changed a great deal since the speech. In 2017, the money dedicated to cancer research is significant. The public understands the importance of the cause and success stories have inspired so many to battle on in their own way. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it is out of sight, and until that destination is reached, the ethos of the slogan will drive progress forward.
Not everyone's battles are so significant. Individual difficulties with self, work, or love are trivial in the grand scheme of human suffering. But that does not make those difficulties any less trivial for those in pain. I suppose the individual nature of these personal battles make them seem more daunting. Who is going worry about my itty-bitty Self-Esteem Crisis when cancer is devouring millions around the globe?
That's where the power of relating to others through sharing becomes significant. In taking the time to share what once made me laugh or cry, I'm finding (very surprisingly) that people are drawing strength and courage from it. The gift of offering evidence that difficult moments shall pass is priceless.
Like many skills, though, this ability to relate through sharing won't just be there when I need it. It needs to be honed through practice. It must be the subject of diligent daily effort. The reward is worth it- by cultivating my best self, it will be there when I need it. And so until I reach that place, I won't ever give up.
