Hi all,
I was digging through some of my old belongings last month when I discovered a newspaper clipping that I had not seen in years. I tore it out from The Japan Times ("Japan's largest English-language newspaper") back in 2008 and carried it with me back to the USA. The column came from a long-running series called 'Words To Live By'.
In these articles, people from all walks of Japanese life share a few of their basic convictions. It often results in a fascinating mosaic of fact, fiction, and intuition. Some of it is brilliant and some of it is rubbish.
The most important thing, though, is that the reader understands that the profile subject believes in these things. After all, these are the very words that they choose to live by.
So...
We can guess what is coming up, right?
(Ha ha!)
Enjoy.
Tim
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*People remember how I made them feel, not what I said.
This is a peculiar realization for a blogger, I suppose. All I have is words!
But in retrospect, most people are unable to quote the words that inspired, motivated, or moved them. With this understanding, I try to speak or write with truth, feeling, and conviction instead of obsessing over diction or grammar.
*I could see myself never working again.
And on the flip side, I could see myself working for the rest of my days. What it comes down to is the nature of my work and how it nourishes my spirit.
*When I glimpse a better version of myself, I return for another look.
Figuring out how I want to live my life is much more challenging than considering what I want to do with my life. Emulating the times I've felt good about myself has been a helpful strategy.
I saw my best self emerge at times as a hospice visitor and always enjoyed my mentoring responsibilities in my first job. That's why I volunteer with hospice every week and why I seek career opportunities where mentoring is encouraged.
*If it worked once, I keep going back until it stops working.
Good things end poorly, which is why they end. I try and take advantage of this natural rhythm instead of wasting energy figuring out how well things are going.
*If I can't swim against the current, I pick a battle on the river bank.
People ease into patterns and rhythms. One day, they look up and realize just how far downstream the current of life carried them.
I don't have a smart phone because nobody tells me they wish they used their smartphones more. In fact, I almost always hear people say they want to use it less. Same goes for TV watching, browsing the internet, and buying expensive consumer goods.
I research carefully before I wade into a new river. There is a 'point of no return' along any journey and knowing where that is helps me make healthy decisions.
*I say what I mean because I don't say what I don't mean.
It is vital to practice expressing thoughts and feelings. The times I've been unable to do this are among my biggest regrets. Like with many skills, avoiding bad habits is just as helpful as cultivating good habits.
*I stopped using capital letters in emails.
it looks like this. life's too short, you know?
*I don't describe people with nouns.
Feedback is about what someone did, not about who they are.
A verb allows a person to feel guilt, which is good. Guilt is a growth tool because anyone can change how they act.
A noun allows a person to feel shame, which is bad. There is no way back from shame because shame is a clear statement- "I don't like who I am."
*I don't talk about politics unless I can separate the policy from the policymaker.
There is a world of difference between someone who opposes medical marijuana use and someone who kicks cancer patients.
*I try to see what's actually going on.
Our uniforms, situations, or inner monologues change the way we interact with the world around us.
I've seen the nicest people I know do some shocking things from behind the wheel of a car. Get out of my crosswalk, little old lady, I'm running a yellow light!
*I suspect most people knew their deepest interests, all along.
I tried to figure this out for myself last February. I thought back to what I gravitated to as a kid, what I turned to when I was really struggling, and what I did when I felt comfortable, safe, or secure.
I realized that, in all three of those cases, I wrote. And so I started this blog.
*I don't think consensus and equality get along all that well.
Treating everyone the same does not mean treating everyone as if they are the same.
Often, I find the effort required to get everyone to agree wastes too much energy. Learning to relate across my differences with others is a much more effective use of my time.
*I care about what other people think.
What I don't care about is whether they agree with what I think.
*I'm always ready to stop.
It applies to many things, of course, but I've found it most useful when running or cycling. A lot of injuries happen when someone tries to squeeze through a tight space, moves too quickly over a slippery surface, or accelerates into an unexpected place. And all that the burnout related stuff- fatigue, overuse, etc- is avoided whenever I keep the big picture in mind.
*I have a physical reaction to bad conversations.
My chest starts to hurt anytime I recognize that I'm involved in such an exchange. What is a bad conversation? It's like a ping-pong game with facts bouncing back and forth, louder and louder, each new volley influenced but ultimately disconnected from the prior. I suppose it doesn't help that I suck at ping-pong.
Good conversations seek out the truth. In these exchanges, the worth of an idea is based on its merits alone. Unrelated concepts such as the accuracy of trivial details, eloquence, technical accuracy of speech, decibel level, or qualifications of the speaker are dismissed unless necessary in furthering progress toward the truth.
*I don't trust people who don't have enough.
I think American income is a useful example. For the impoverished, enough is around $20k per year. For someone with cars, houses, and loans, enough is at least ten times that amount.
Until someone has enough, that's all they'll think about. Well-crafted plans change quickly when someone transitions from 'enough' to 'not enough'. It applies in reverse, as well.
Pundits and policy makers will do well if they remember this. Just the mere threat of not having enough dominates one's thoughts and dictates one's actions.
*If I were told today was my last day on Earth, I would do what I planned on the previous night.
It's not about what I do or when. It's about how. It's much easier to know how I want to live my life than it is to know what I want to do with it. And it's much easier to accomplish this if I find the time to work on it.
I can work on how every single day. If I do that, I bet I really end up with something.
I might even be something, actually.
*If it was my last day, though, I would adjust my schedule for ice cream.
Mint chocolate chip in a waffle cone, if possible. It's my last day, you know?
