(The debaters are back at their podiums. There is no food in sight.)
True On Average (TOA): OK, while we wait on that phone to charge- what was the question again?
The Business Bro (BB): Charter school expansion. I was about to say we should vote yes.
TOA: Why's that?
BB:
It's like business. If a business is failing, other businesses start up
to compete. Public schools have plenty of room for improvement. They
need some competition. It's like Uber. You might recognize Uber- those
are the cars that zip past you while you impersonate a grandmother on
your Hubway bike.
TOA: I think what you are describing
is pronounced 'private school'. The funding is the issue- public school
funds are used for charter schools. So your analogy makes no sense
unless Uber was started by Yellow Cab.
BB: Funding doesn't count here. The state reimburses the public school system if the charter school gets created.
TOA: Nonsense.
BB: It's true. Says so here.
TOA: So where does that money come from?
BB: Not sure.
TOA:
Thought so. Before we get to that, I want to talk about competition.
Your point is nonsense. Public schools don't need competition. We want
to do the best for everyone. That's not competition, that's cooperation.
Public schools need cooperation from the state to improve across the
board.
BB: So what? Competition is the fastest way to get everyone there. Do your job or get lost. Go open a casino, maybe.
TOA:
That's utter rubbish. The only people we know who are our age and get
laid off work at huge corporations or at public schools. There's no
performance standard there, its all tenure and other such stuff. Why
expand a system that contributes to this?
BB: How does
it contribute? And don't forget you got us laid off, bud. What group do
we fit into? We didn't work at a school, no matter how many times you
deluded yourself into the value of running classroom sessions.
TOA:
Right, and we didn't work at a large corporation, either, despite your
constant writing of meaningless things like performance reviews.
BB: Please. A performance review is the single most formal leadership act for a manager. Are you gonna answer my question?
TOA: What question?
BB: How does a charter school contribute to public schools laying off teachers?
TOA:
It's just basic math. Funding follows the pupil. So if a school shrinks
because its students go to some charter school, the funding at the
school shrinks. All schools have a fixed cost. So with less money, they
can only make decisions on marginal costs. Fewer students means the
possibility of fewer classes, fewer classes means the possibility of
fewer teachers. Those are all marginal costs.
BB: Again, I see the logic, but I don't see the point. The state reimburses the systems so the money is all there.
TOA:
You aren't smart enough to see the point. If the math was so simple,
they would show the math. What's the booklet say about the math?
BB: Er...let me see...
TOA:
I'm sure there is nothing. If that was how it worked, it would say
something like 'a school that received X dollars funding in 2015 will
receive X dollars in funding for 2016 regardless of student defection to
charter schools'. Simple.
BB: No, nothing there. I don't see why you use hypothetical arguments. Meaningless.
TOA: What's so meaningless about it?
BB:
No accountability. You say you'll do something, we vote for it, then
its up to you. Better to just focus on what you've done.
TOA: So what? I'm not running for anything here, this is just what I think.
BB: Same thing. The no opinion does say that public schools will lose money to charters, but we understood that already.
TOA: It seems really simple to me. If the math shows that public school systems are not harmed, they would show their math.
BB: That does sound right.
TOA: But no math?
BB: No math.
TOA: Let's vote no.
BB: Not so fast. Just because you make a better argument doesn't mean you are right.
TOA: What's your argument? Not playing doesn't mean you CAN'T LOSE. It's a debate. Make America DEBATE AGAIN!
BB:
What? What does that mean? Why are you yelling at the end of your
sentences? Not choosing is a choice, too. I wouldn't expect you to
understand that. If all you do is worry about the right answer, you'll
never bother to consider whether its the right question.
TOA: If the charter schools are so good, why don't they just make the public schools charter schools?
BB: Now that's just utter rubbish. That's a sound bite. You might as well resurrect Mad TV with
that attitude. You might as well get Jerry Seinfeld out here to say 'If
the only thing they find after the plane crash is the black box, why
don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?' Only someone who
knows nothing about charter schools, or maybe nothing, period, would say
something so ridiculous.
TOA: Well what do you know about it?
BB: The same as you, almost nothing. I'm in the same brain as you- I have no new information.
TOA: I see...
BB:
I am a little concerned about the admin here. The total number of
students doesn't change in a public school system. But if we add
schools, that means more building, more buildings, more utility bills,
more desks, more books. Might even mean more of those chicken patty
sandwiches we used to get at lunch, which I actually view as a positive.
But anyway, more of things we already have. And after we pay for all
those things, we still have more of the admin to run the process itself.
TOA: Well, buying what you already have- that's the American way.
BB: Right.
TOA: Funny how the first two things we looked at both advocate for more lotteries.
BB: Oh, not bad with that one!
TOA: Thank you.
BB: More admin might sound good to you but I think it drains resources. You ever run a lottery or a wait list?
TOA: I'm cutting down on admin myself, you didn't see that last proper admin post?
BB:
What, that dumb post about learning? The only thing I've learned from
your blog is how boring a post longer than six hundred words is.
TOA: Don't charter schools help the poor, though?
BB: Which poor?
TOA: The ones in the charter school. They get better opportunities when they leave a failing district.
BB:
That assumes all charter schools are better than all public schools.
You also don't have to be poor to...hey! Where did the book go?
TOA: I grabbed it. Fair is fair. We should each get a turn with it, no?
BB: Go make a copy.
TOA: What, more admin?
BB: Hmmm, fine. So what does it say there?
TOA:
Nothing. Or at least nothing like 'all charter schools are better than
all public schools' which is what I would say if that was the case. No
better way to make a point than stating the facts.
BB: Well, just because someone fails to utilize the best argument doesn't mean they are wrong.
TOA: Interesting. Like saying you can eat a steak without using a knife?
BB: Uh, sure. Use your hands. Like a pizza. Speaking of which...
TOA: Huh?
BB: Maybe we should get back to this one. It's getting late and we still have two questions.
TOA: It's not late. And I'm not done yet.
BB: Really? I'm surprised, somehow.
TOA:
Well, its the second time we've gotten stuck on the same fundamental
point. We are asked to vote on something that implies a baseline
knowledge. Do casinos lift up the community? Do charter schools improve
the school system on a statewide level? If we were given this
information, we could vote on it.
BB: Well, that's
probably the problem to solve for here, actually. No one has that
information. So we are asked to pick sides, so to speak. If they had
that information, the elected officials would decide.
TOA:
That's crazy to me. The lack of data, I mean. Charter schools have been
around since the 1990s. Casinos have been around a little longer.
BB:
That is kind of an intriguing point. Still, hypothetical, and
distracting. Like I said, if the state had that information, they would
not need a vote, they would just decide on their own.
TOA: Hmmm.
BB:
I'm curious about the wait lists. Parents always try to make the best
decisions for their children. So if parents put kids on waitlists for
charter schools, that implies one of two things.
TOA: Well, it probably means the charter schools are better.
BB:
Not exactly. It means it is the best option. But that is only compared
to their other options. If public schools were good enough, no one would
go to a charter school based on the school's merit. Maybe if it was
next door or something convenient, sure. No one we knew went to charter
school because our public school was good enough.
TOA: I don't think we had the option. That's why it needs to be expanded by voting yes.
BB: Whatever.
TOA: So you would prefer to just improve public schools? Sounds simple.
BB: Sounds simple.
TOA: I guess that's the problem.
(Both participants spend a few seconds in silence, possibly thinking, though about what is anyone's guess.)
TOA: Maybe we should come back to this one.
BB: Ok, sounds good.
(Well, another round of 'debate' ends with nothing learned and nothing decided. Sounds about right.
Thanks
again for reading. Hope you enjoy the coming weekend. Please come back
Monday for another special post- part four of Make America Debate
Again.)
