(Welcome back. In case you are just joining us, our two debaters
have reached no conclusion on anything important- jobs, education, even
pizza.
They are ready to resume their so-far inconclusive dialogue. Let's check in...)
True On Average (TOA): Question 3. Farm animal cruelty. Uh, what?
The Business Bro (BB): I vote no.
TOA: Well, yes. I didn't realize this still happened.
BB:
That's because you shop at Whole Foods, you loser. With my money, I
might add. You shop there long enough and you forget the other options
exist. The power of habit, so to speak. So that's why it is on the
ballot, in case you were wondering.
TOA: Wow. Good rant. There's egg on my face.
BB: Keep it up. Next time, I'll get a petition to ban puns from the blogosphere.
TOA: That'll go over easy, I'm sure.
BB: Are you going to read the booklet or not? Go ahead, crack it open.
TOA: Ha! I knew you had it in you.
BB: Go ahead, read it.
TOA: Egg me on...no. This thing is four pages long.
BB: What do you mean, no? It's your job.
TOA: It's too long.
BB: Too long? Now you know how your readers feel.
TOA:
Quiet. I'm doing it. Basically, the law will allow these animals to
move. However, the financial impact on the state is unknown. They say it
is because the law takes effect in 2022.
BB: 2022?
TOA:
The blog will be almost two years old by then. You might even be back
from sabbatical. How come our state has no idea what anything will cost?
BB: Does animal freedom help human freedom?
TOA:
I'm not sure. On the no side, the argument says the increase in food
cost disproportionately harms lower income households. That seems
accurate. I'm not so sure about this vote any more.
BB: Really? Just because it might do something? Figures, swayed by a hypo-
TOA:
Well, if the price of food goes up, it doesn't 'might' do anything. It
just means the price goes up. Costs go up, prices go up. No ambiguity
there.
BB: I didn't realize we grew so many caged animals.
TOA: The no side mentions that the law prevents eggs from ANY state that raises animals in this way.
BB: Wait, that's news to me.
TOA: Yeah, to me as well, it did not say that in the...wait, there it is. Second paragraph. Sorry.
BB: Do the reading! I can't make good decisions without all the information, smart guy.
TOA: Sorry. The yes side is not all that surprising. Do the right thing and so on.
BB: That's a standard argument, I suppose. 'Save the animals'. Do you vote yes by hugging a tree?
TOA:
I'm assuming you vote by writing on paper, which involves logging. But
trees are not placed in cages, either. I thought you were for this law?
BB: I'm for the tree market.
TOA: Oh, so now who's barking mad? Free market, just not free movement?
BB: If people buy these eggs anyway, that tells me they would prefer to save money over adopting a duck.
TOA: Ducks don't lay eggs, you quack.
BB: Whatever. People should be free to buy what they need for a healthy diet.
TOA: That's what the no side said...
BB: I did read this earlier, you know. There is no substitute for the reading.
TOA: Only a cruel person would vote 'no'.
BB: That's not true. People choose people over animals all the time. That's not cruelty.
TOA: Yeah, if you need to do something to survive. But we should treat animals humanely.
BB:
Sure, sometimes we can spend more money on animals than people or show
greater interest in a pet than a human. If we can do it, sure we should,
but right now there are too many problems for people to deal with. I
can't justify an election if it results in improved conditions for
animals at the cost of making grocery shopping more difficult for the
poor. Didn't California give more rights to veal while stripping rights
from gay couples in 2008? If you don't pay attention to the whole
picture, you get ridiculous results.
TOA: How did you end up on the 'no' side?
BB:
I'm a part of you. We're on the same side. We are all on the same side.
We want the state to be the best it can be. But if we lose track of
what the whole point is because we dig so far into the details of every
question, we are going to disagree. A lot. It happens all the time. You
get stuck on a position and forget the underlying interest. I'm
interested in people and unlocking the potential they have. If we push
the animal-loving interests of comfortable people ahead of hunger
alleviation for the less well-off, we are not aligned to our principle
of 'free dumb' or whatever it was you blabbered about earlier.
TOA: I still say 'yes'.
BB: What color eggs did you buy last week? Brown or white...
TOA: Er....
BB: I like your gimmick, man. Sure, lets use windmills for clean energy, but don't build them on my lawn. You'll ruin the view!
TOA: Windmills? Whatever. Riding your Rocinante again?
BB: What's that? You calling me a donkey? OK.
TOA: Oh, forget it.
BB: Breaking news, I'm not affiliated with a party.
The only elephant in this room is how you talk a big game about this or
that but when it comes right down to it, you don't want to do any of the
actual work.
TOA: Brown eggs and white eggs are the same eggs.
BB: So what? My point stands.
TOA: How's that?
BB:
You just want solutions. You talk about process and blah blah blah but
when it comes down to it, you buy the cheapest eggs. You don't put your
money where your mouth is. If you cared about animal welfare, you'd buy
the cage free eggs. You don't need this law, the eggs are already there!
TOA: Now, that's not fair-
BB:
It is fair. It's the whole point. You'll do it, but only if everyone
else does, too. That's selfish. Be a leader. Get moving. Who cares what
everyone else thinks?
TOA: But the government is only
going to run the state in a way that reflects what the people want.
That's why you vote for these things. Over time, things get better.
BB: Over time, huh? Heaven is like the future, it sounds so nice. But explain to me why no one is ever in a rush to get there?
TOA: That is a definite ripoff. I can't remember who, though.
BB: No one knows his name.
TOA: It doesn't matter. You get to the future like you get anywhere. You agree to go. Over time-
BB:
Over time? Sure, you can vote. But why give away your power? If animal
welfare matters to you, act that way. If it matters a lot, volunteer at
the pound. If it really matters, get a job there or start an
organization yourself. That's what America let's you do. That's how
democracy is supposed to work, here. You can vote and all but if that's
all you think there is then you are giving away any actual power you
have.
TOA: Are you done?
BB: Nearly.
TOA: Oh, good.
BB:
Well, you talked about choices. Someone who can't afford groceries
already is going to now buy these luxury eggs because you want to feel
all high and mighty? Let's double bus fares while we're at it. Not
everyone thinks twenty bucks is a good deal for a pizza.
TOA: This is going nowhere. Wait, is the pizza here?
BB: No, how long did they say? Anyway, this law is pointless.
TOA: Let's get this pizza thing sorted out, can we?
BB: Sure, why not? This one is going nowhere, again.
(True On Average picks up the pizza menu from the floor.)
BB: Maybe we can sort out #4 quickly and use that momentum to figure out these other ones.
TOA: Number four? This is pizza, not McDonald's.
BB: I meant the ballot questions.
TOA: Oh, right. Sounds like a plan. Give me a minute here...
(True
On Average continues to scan the menu while The Business Bro tries to
remember what he read about the final ballot question.
It
seems like this could take a little time. We'll pick up coverage again
once they resume debating. Until Wednesday, then. Thanks for reading.)
