new year's resolutions, part 1

Merry Christmas!

I spent some time thinking about what to write for today. I considered ranting about the holiday season, mimicking the style of a book I enjoyed earlier in the month (Revulsion: Thomas Bernhard in San Salvador by Horacio Castellanos Moya). I suppose I could have blogged about my favorite gifts from past Christmases (Bed, Bath and Beyond gift cards) or handed out tips to last minute morning-of shoppers (go to CVS and buy a Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift card). (1)

But in the end, writing about Christmas on Christmas only made sense on a superficial level. If a topic is interesting enough to write about, it should be interesting enough on any day of the year, right? (Translation: I came up with nothing.) (2)

I recall a similar thought process from a number of years ago regarding New Year's resolutions. The concept of a New Year's resolution is excellent. The spirit of reflection driving self-improvement gets my full approval. But must we wait a whole year to make them? A good idea on January 1 is a good idea on any other day, no? (3)

So, one year, I stopped making New Year's resolutions. I suppose this could be considered my final 'resolution', though I'm not entirely sure if this took place on a January 1 or not.

But the end of New Year's resolutions did not signal the end of the concept. Far from it. These days, I tend to keep something closer to a running list. The running list makes tracking the self-improvement concepts a little more manageable and forces me to get to self-reflection a little faster than in the traditional 'wait until next year' model.

So, today is part one of a two part post. Part one is a list of my resolutions which I feel I successfully completed. Next week, I'll cover my active list. Feel free to borrow (or re-gift) any that look good to you!

A few of the concepts on these lists I've detailed in past posts. That makes sense since this blog overlaps at times with the self-reflective purpose of these lists. In the case I repeat past thinking or writing, please accept my apologies.


*Pay back loans ASAP (Winter 2010)

One of the few books I've only partially completed over the past six years is Gang Leader For A Day by Sudhir Venkatesh. I do not recall the exact reason why I stopped reading. My best guess is that I was reading quite a few similar books during that time and perhaps I found the content of Gang Leader For A Day a bit repetitive.

Still, I managed to retain one anecdote from this half-read work. A gang leader asked Venkatesh to make a hypothetical decision. Though I forget the exact details, the basic premise was to choose a payment method for a drug deal. The options were one lump sum payment or a series of payments spread out into multiple installments.

After summing the payments and concluding that the latter was more profitable, Venkatesh recommends the payment series as his choice.

'Wrong.'

'Why?'

The explanation was simple. In an uncertain environment, a drug dealer could get arrested, be killed, or simply refuse to pay at some point before the payments were completed. Always take the sure thing, Venkatesh was told, if the environment contains too much uncertainty.

I think this logic illustrates my underlying approach to this resolution. I could crunch all the numbers to determine if investing while simultaneously meeting the minimum loan payment each month would add up in the long term. Instead, I simplify the math by taking the sure thing of reducing future interest payments via paying off the loan principle ahead of schedule. Of late, I've chosen to purchase index funds with the lowest expense ratio, a similar 'sure thing' based outcome resulting from the same thought process.

Taking the sure thing in the present over a better total payoff in the future is NOT a strategy I automatically recommend. Do the math, please. But rare is the case that such a thing can be explicitly calculated. Thus far in my adventures with personal finance, its proven an effective rule of thumb to reduces future expenses instead of chasing hypothetical future income. The instinct to control expenses rather than hustle to increase income is proving very valuable in laying the foundation for eventual financial independence. (4)

*Running technique (September 2011)

Long-time readers of the blog will suspect they know where this one is going. I will try to generalize my lessons here to minimize repetition.

The initial idea here is that running was something I always did without consideration of form, technique, or posture. As I exposed myself to more thinking and writing on the matter, I realized the possible gains of altering my running technique. I incorporated those as quickly as possible and found great improvement in speed, distance, and recovery.

The generalized lesson from this process was how I incorporated the improvement-focused thinking into everything else. I tried to identify the things I do where I never fully thought through the process in the past. If applicable, I evaluated my technique and sought ways to improve my performance by either tweaking or overhauling my methods.

To look at the process, examine the thinking behind it, and identify the untapped potential is the ethos of continuous improvement.

*Stop saying 'Redskins' (whoops!) (~2012)

In recent years, schools and professional sports teams with nicknames, logos, or affiliated artwork using derogatory or offensive references to Native American groups have come under fire. Many of these organizations have responded by making immediate changes. I'm aware of at least one local high school changing a nickname and another that repainted the interior of its gymnasium, both in response to criticism that the status quo was offensive.

The most high-profile example was the Washington Redskins, one of the NFL's most well-known teams. I, like a number of others, exerted our limited influence in the matter by resolving to refer to this team by something else, usually just 'Washington', with no fanfare.

I did really well with this one through 2014 or so. Since then, I have slipped every once in a while.

*No more New Year's resolutions (January 1, 2013)

I explained this one above. The date is merely guesswork.

Pretending I reached this conclusion on January 1 does set things up nicely for a movie, perhaps titled The Last Resolution, so let's go with that date for now. (5)

*Write down notes for reading (Late 2013)

This one grew out of the 'running technique' idea from above. (In fact, a lot of these 'resolutions' grew out of that thinking behind my running technique.)

Reading, like running, was something I just did in the way I was first told. Like playing football. Clear eyes, full heart, can't lose. Wait, that's not it. It doesn't matter.

At some point, it occurred to me that although I read a lot of good books, the methods for recalling crucial information from these were pretty limited. I could try to remember everything, which was a nice thought but unrealistic. My memory is already filled with important things (like where to board a Red Line train to minimize the amount of time it takes to leave the subway once I reach my destination).

Another option was to reread books as I needed to. This was an approach with no obvious problems- except the commitment of massive amounts of time.

Starting with Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In, I started a system of note taking that I've described in a past post. The main idea was to extract the applicable ideas from my reading into an easily retrievable form for later.

Eventually, I took it a step further and decided to write a little bit about books I've read. Welcome to True On Average! For these posts, I lean heavily on these book notes as the main source for my commentary.


*Inbox zero and the next day rule (Spring 2015)

The date for this one is a total guess. The timing of early 2015 feels about right so I'll go with that for now.

I, like everyone in world history, used to let my email inbox run out of control. It was easy to accept this problem because it seemed so universal.

But, like a lot of things, I also recognized my own lack of effort in addressing the problem. And the upside of being in charge of my inbox seemed worth the effort.

(Why not, right? Like many, my job often involved answering email. Not doing this well equated to not doing a good job at work. At the very least, I would no longer feel rude for ignoring someone who took the time to say hello.)

So, before I threw my hands up in the air with everyone else and SHOUTED that email was an unstoppable tidal wave of newsletters, sale offers, meeting minutes, and pointless discussion threads, I researched a few methods to take better control of my inbox.

I ended up combining portions of two approaches to form my own email philosophy. The first is called 'inbox zero'. This means working through your inbox until it is empty, either once per day or each time you log in.

I found these options unrealistic so I settled for just finding a place for incoming email that was not my main inbox. To do this, I started running through the following checklist each time I opened a new email. If the answer to the question was yes, I followed along and moved on to the next email. If the answer was no, I moved on to the next item on the checklist.

START : Open the new email...
*Can I delete this?
*Can I delegate this?
*Can I defer this?
*Can I do this in under one minute?
*OK- hold it for a little later, go to the next email.

Those four questions started to filter out a lot of the junk that congested my inbox. It also focused my efforts whenever I logged into email. I just read only the new ones and sorted it like above. Pretty soon, the only items leftover were those from step #5- the email I was 'holding for a little later'.

But what does that mean? With anything leftover, I applied the next day rule- I just simply tried to deal with it the next day. Waiting one day created enough time to prevent a 'chat room' mentality from developing in the exchange. However, it was not quite long enough to offend the sender waiting for my reply. In the case of more complex email, the waiting period gave me time to formulate a coherent response or set aside time on my calendar to handle the task or project specified in the email.

It really gets at the most important time management advice I've heard- use a schedule in place of a to-do list. Scheduling time to answer yesterday's email proved an extremely productive application of this concept for me. (6)

*Remember birthdays (Fall 2015)

In the event that I've already talked about this here, my apologies once more. I think this one is worth repeating, anyway, so here is the full detail.

Remembering birthdays, like learning the names of new people or clearing out the email inbox, is a skill that falls into a category of those which people seem to happily accept their mediocrity without ever actually trying to improve. How could anyone be good at anything without working on it, right? Even I had to practice being a blowhard.

I actually think my solution for birthdays is unusually clever, even by my own lofty standards. I simply started adding birth dates into each person's contact name on my phone. Each time I received a call or text from them, I would see the birthday. Over time, I started to absorb the information.

Perhaps the beauty of this method is the way it reinforces itself. The birthdays I end up remembering are those of the people I talk to the most often. That's a fairly accurate natural sorting method for prioritizing birthdays to learn because the people I talk to most often usually are the same people whose birthdays I most want to remember.

*Shotgun one Molson every morning (the day after I got laid off)

Just kidding.

*The start-up document (June 2016)

This one is a spin-off of the email idea from above. Back when I started using that technique for answering email, I wrote down the steps on an index card and taped it to the side of my monitor. With the reminder in sight at all times, I found it very easy to stick to the process and wasted little mental energy memorizing the steps.

A few months ago, I implemented a similar approach to my morning routine. In a blank google doc, I wrote out anything I would do on a 'routine' basis. Each morning, the first time I logged into a computer, I would open the document and run through the list to make sure I stayed on schedule with my tasks, appointments, and commitments.

This drastically cut down on the time I wasted at the computer. The value does not come so much from the document itself being efficient or helpful (by now, I've memorized a lot of it). Rather, I find it very useful later in the day when I sit down a second or third time. By that point, I already know that I've taken care off all the 'important' things I do each day (checking CNN, organizing my schedule with new appointments, paying rent, etc) and I know to skip those. All I need to do is run through the 'inbox zero' routine for new email before I move on to whatever mission compelled me to boot up the computer in the first place.

Here is the current outline of the always-changing document:

-> Page one: daily reminders

This is a list of things to keep in mind as I approach a new day. They include my approach to cultivating my inner life, reminders of universal truths, any new passwords I'm using on the internet, and a list of websites I log into once per day.

My favorite line is pulled from a book about legendary football coach Bill Parcells. This piece of advice is from Raiders owner Al Davis. It comes at the end of a conversation in which the young coach complained to the owner about all injuries, missed calls, and bad bounces that were hurting his team:

'No one cares, coach your team'.

-> Page two: trigger/weekly/monthly tasks

This is a schedule of my routines.

'Trigger' tasks refer to my follow up given a change in conditions (for example, filling out a volunteer log after a hospice visit or completing my monthly budget the day after I pay my last month's credit card bill).

Weekly or monthly tasks include things like checking for upcoming author readings (weekly- Fridays), updating my SIM card with new phone contacts (monthy- the 20th), logging into Facebook (weekly- Thursdays), or replacing my contact lenses (monthly- the 28th).

-> Page three: personal calendar

This is just what it sounds like. Since I use a word document, it is written out rather than in a grid. I include things that I do away from the computer as well as one-off tasks that do not fit into page two's format. I always have the week ahead written out plus any appointments or events confirmed for a week or more in advance.

I also have my recurring activities here (again those not on the computer) such as standing plans with friends or weekly volunteer shifts.

-> Page four: on hold

This is for things I'll need to do eventually. These tasks are on this page because they either have no urgency at the moment or lack a 'trigger' to indicate my follow-up.

Currently, I list trips such as 'Go to the Isabella Gardener Museum' or admin tasks such as 'transfer my 401k into my IRA'. I usually just skim this page unless I have very little to do.

-> Page five: keeping track

This is a list of things I need to just keep track of (like who owes me money for my men's league basketball team dues). It is very similar to page four. Again, another page I usually just skim.

*Toss the headphones (July 2016)

This is one of those 'about time' changes. I first gave this a try in college during my senior year. I lasted about three weeks, then returned to walking around campus with my headphones in, ignoring all outside noise.

I tried again later on whenever I went running in the rain. This was practical as much as anything- wet headphones break. It went really well but I still continued to use my headphones outdoors in all other situations. Eventually, I even resumed doing so while jogging through thunderstorms.

It finally stuck in July. As I described here, I got nudged into it when my iPod broke. This was the fifth broken iPod of the last three years, my third in 2016.

Technically speaking, the problem was old equipment. But this problem was not going away. As long as I kept my computer (a 2006 model Macbook) I would not be able to sync up the newest model of iPod to my music library.

Plus, I think the ongoing babysitting of my 'stuff' was wearing me out. Keeping my iPod charged and updated was like making sure a pet was fed and watered. I decided to take a short break from the iPod and, as a consequence, my headphones, fully expecting all kinds of things to suddenly start going wrong.

Well, here we are, six months later, with no new electronics in sight. All this awareness of the outside world is still new to me and I hesitated to put this into the 'completed' resolutions as a result. I might go back to my old 'plugged in' ways as soon as I get a functional iPod.

But who knows? Perhaps this is the new me. I've enjoyed hearing the sounds of the city again. And I'm thinking more often and with more clarity than I did in the past.

So though I miss the opportunity to laugh along with The Football Ramble's 'insights' into Alan Pardew or listen to Courtney Barnett sing about house hunting, I think the benefits of going headphones-free in public outweigh the negatives.

Unless I get a new iPod from Santa.

Let me go check that...

Thanks as usual for reading. See you again in a week.

Tim

Footnotes / imagined complaints

1. Spoiler alert!

As Professor Dumbledore says to the title character in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 'One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.'

Blankets and ornaments make pretty good gifts, as well, for just about anyone.

Ranting about Christmas would have been fun, though. 'A tree, Moya, a tree, for sixty dollars, I tell you Moya, these people scurry away with their trees, their sixty dollars trees, not looking left, right, or sideways, knocking mothers, knocking grandmothers aside as they rush home to make their floors sticky with sap, to tell their wives about the great deal they got, for sixty dollars, Moya, enough to pay for our whiskeys...'

2. For the great taste that won't fill you up...

Advertisers would not agree with that, of course. A Bud Light with a team's logo on the can is different than a Bud Light with no logo. But the way I see it, the key question is whether you want to drink a Bud Light or not (you probably don't). After you decide you do, it might be important what the can looks like. But it doesn't really serve as the decision maker. Since I saw no real benefit to writing about anything Christmas related (or drink a Bud Light, for that matter, not that such a thing influences my blog topics) I decided to go in a different direction.

On the other hand...

'Another Bud Light, Moya! As sure as the cuckoo chimes at 6 a bunch of kids stumble in to waste another night partying, to start another wasted night, partying with that beer called Bud Light, cuckoo they all are, partying with Bud Light, the same noise over and over, the shame to sit in a bar where that beer is served, Moya, as if the youth needs any help wasting their money, Moya, we still offer up Bud Light, what a beer indeed, what a party indeed, I would rather sit in total silence than party if it requires a beer such as Bud Light, a fine way to treat your stomach, as if it had any lack of acid...'

3. Everything that follows is true, really.

My guess is that this thinking took place to start 2013. Prior to that date, I used to write down New Year's resolutions. And get this- I used to come up with one for each year of my life. Each year! This means I would have needed to come up with twenty-nine resolutions by next week. What a waste of time. I would rather do another word bracket.

Again, I'm guessing this took place in 2013. It is entirely possible I did make resolutions in the same way for 2014. However, I found no records of such an event. I did find resolutions for the years covering 2010-2013 so I assume I stopped for January 1, 2014. But who knows (or cares, really)?

4. Everything I know about investing I learned in a high school contest

Investing is one of those 'adult' things- like sending Christmas cards or doing your own laundry- that the schools I went to spent no effort trying to explain (they did a fine job with flag football, sex ed, and the periodic table, however).

The most memorable thing we did with investing involved a 'contest' where people would pick stocks and compete against each other to see who made the biggest gains. The best tactic in this game involved leveraging yourself as much as possible, preferably allocating all of someone else's your money in one or two high-risk stocks. (I do not recall if we had a mock bankruptcy court the next day.)

This is the single worst way to teach personal finance that I can come up with. In hindsight, all this does is encourage making wild picks, discourage diversifying your portfolio, and reward those who trade and borrow frequently. Good thing we were not less loose into the financial system- with this solid background in finance, surely the graduating class of 2006 would have sent the financial system crashing to the ground within a couple of years.

5. Maybe Tom Cruise can star in it...

'Captain Algren, I have always enjoyed our...resolutions.'

'A lifetime spent searching for the perfect...resolution...would not be a wasted life.'

6. This is starting to sound a little 'BB' for my liking...

I wrote a more detailed explanation of this setup in the first draft for this post. It was work-focused and thus I realized it made more sense as a future 'business' bro' post. So, keep an eye out for it when I resume posting there, whenever that is.

tales of two cities, vol 1: aug '15 - nov '15

Hi folks,

I think today's post is one of those best jumped right into...

The next post will go up early on Christmas Day.

Thanks as always for reading.

Tim

******************

08/08/2015 
Charles Circle - Charles St. at Cambridge St. (5:16 pm) 
Newbury St / Hereford St (5:28 pm)

On August 1 of last year, I started a three-day trial of Hubway, the Boston metro area's bike share system. A week later, I signed up for an official membership.

The shrinking of the city since I started using these bikes is beyond measure. My newfound mobility using the bike system enabled me to explore new neighborhoods, participate in new activities, and meet new people.

At the same time, my experience confirms the truism that no matter how far you travel, you always bring yourself with you. The journey through life is a constant collision of past and present, always charting a trajectory for the future that is subject to change, with or without due warning. It is hard at times to tell if everything or nothing is before you.

I took my sweet time in getting around to all that philosophical stuff, though. On August 8, my official first voyage as a Hubway customer brought me straight to Newbury Street, arguably Boston's most pointless destination in terms of new experiences, places, or people. I have no interest in anything that occurs there.

We are off to a great start!

08/18/2015
Yawkey Way at Boylston St. (11:09 pm)
Charles Circle- Charles St. at Cambridge St. (11:24 pm)

On a volunteer night with colleagues that eventually segues into a (Tuesday) night out, I mention for the first time in public that I'm using Hubway. It's hardly news. Everyone is much more interested in my impromptu approximation of a 'man bun', also a public first.

The ride from Fenway is taken at a full sprint. I'm astonished to be home in just fifteen minutes. Some of the Red Sox players take about as long to trot in from the bullpen.

I'm reckless in these early days- no helmet, no reflectors, no qualms about running a red or going down a one-way street in the you-know-what direction. I must have combined all of the above to make it from home from Fenway Park in just fifteen minutes. I suppose my hair could have cushioned me in the event of a crash.

08/22/2015 
Charles Circle - Charles St. at Cambridge St. (7:43 am) 
Boylston / Mass Ave (7:59 am)

Boylston / Mass Ave (8:00 am) 
Mass Ave at Newmarket Square (8:15am)

I read recently that a city is a collection of stories, intersecting with one another at all the small junctures of life and influencing the untold stories of the future in ways large and small. I could not help but think of all these stories I've seen since I stared on these bikes.

Boston is a big city, over six hundred thousand in total population, but despite nearly five full years in the area I barely know any of the neighborhoods beyond South Boston and Beacon Hill. The minimal footsteps left by my story and its influence on the trajectories of others covers well-worn pathways of commuting patterns, standing engagements, and 'keeping in touch' with familiar faces.

A friend of my invited me in July to volunteer with his alumni group at a food bank in Newmarket Square. My first reaction was that Newmarket Square could literally be anywhere, my second that perhaps it would be beneficial to try something different.

The group in charge of the food bank puts in an extraordinary effort. The commitment of the volunteers is best summarized as 'total'. I was hooked.

On that first day a month ago, I went down on the Red Line. On this day, I return on what soon becomes a weekly bike routine. Rides exceeding thirty minutes result in a fine of $1.50 but all rides shorter than thirty minutes are free (and unlimited). My sprinter's fire of a week ago since extinguished, I avoid the charge by stopping halfway on my ride to Newmarket.

09/08/2015 
Rowes Wharf - Atlantic Ave (8:13 pm) 
Washington St. at Waltham St. (8:36 pm)

Washington St. at Waltham St. (8:38 pm) 
Agganis Arena - 925 Comm Ave. (9:00 pm)

Agganis Arena - 925 Comm Ave. (9:01 pm) 
Boylston / Mass Ave (9:28 pm)

Boylston / Mass Ave (9:30 pm) 
Central Square at Mass Ave / Essex St (9:41 pm)

Central Square at Mass Ave / Essex St (9:53 pm) 
Charles Circle - Charles St. at Cambridge St. (10:06 pm)

Brighton is a common starting point for the stories of young college graduates living in Boston. Brighton (or perhaps Allston) is close to downtown yet with cheaper rent, space for parking, and a similar enough bar scene. These factors make the neighborhood attractive for (some) young professionals. It's hard to let go of rent money, cars, and two dollar drafts, you know?

My friends did not move here, though, so I missed out on all that. No standing around for the Green Line, carrying thirty-racks of Bud Light down Harvard Avenue, or eating heartburn inducing pizza slices at 3 AM for me.

My history means bike rides through Brighton take on an exploratory element. My history always influences the nature of my bike rides.

Collisions of stories are not just an analogy in these bike lanes. A careless bike rider will find it all too literal, especially on the always chaotic Comm Ave. I'm reminded of Bruce Springsteen lyrics- 'It's a death trap'- though 'Born To Run' is hardly about cars and ride-seeking pedestrians taking up residence in the bike lanes of New Jersey.

Perhaps the Uber drivers swerving in front of me are making their case for a transportation method far superior to pedaling government-subsidized Hubway bikes. Faster is nice but I'm in no hurry. On these warm nights, the journey takes priority over the destination.

09/20/2015 
Cambridge St. at Joy St. (10:45 am) 
South Station - 700 Atlantic Ave. (11:06 am)

South Station - 700 Atlantic Ave. (11:13 am) 
Back Bay / South End Station (11:35 am)

Back Bay / South End Station (11:37 am) 
Buswell St. at Park Dr. (11:50 am)

Buswell St. at Park Dr. (11:51 am) 
Buswell St. at Park Dr. (12:19 pm)

Buswell St. at Park Dr. (12:20 pm) 
Stuart St. at Charles St. (12:42 pm)

Stuart St. at Charles St. (12:43 pm) 
Cambridge St. at Joy St. (1:09 pm)

Cambridge St. at Joy St. (1:10 pm) 
Cambridge Main Library at Broadway / Trowbridge St (1:31 pm)

Cambridge Main Library at Broadway / Trowbridge St (1:35 pm) 
Central Square at Mass Ave / Essex St (1:45 pm)

Central Square at Mass Ave / Essex St (2:01 pm) 
Charles St at Beacon St (2:24 pm)

My comfort on a bike returns quickly. I'm exhibit A for the old adage- 'you never forget how to ride a bike'. It's in my blood, which makes sense. I learned just a couple of months ago how my late mother used to ride her bicycle around Tokyo during her twenties.

I wonder if I'll ever get used to the way family stories drop in from the past to mingle with the present. I wonder if its worth getting used to. Generally, surprise visits are pleasant.

No matter how comfortable or destined I am to ride a bike, there always comes a time when you just need to work on your skills. In addition to fine public schools, Brookline provides wide lanes, easy sight lines for left turns, and the occasional Green Line trolley for cyclists to chase after. I find these lazy autumn mornings ideal for slow wanderings along the 'C' branch, practicing lane changes, hand signals, and looking two-ways before rolling through red lights.

09/26/2015 
Washington St. at Rutland St. (12:41 am) 
Charles Circle - Charles St. at Cambridge St. (12:58 am)

Charles Circle - Charles St. at Cambridge St. (7:56 am) 
Mass Ave at Newmarket Square (8:20 am)

What makes 'a good influence'? Usually, influence references change. I know I've influenced someone when they respond and grow into something new or improved. Influence, in a way, is an active thing.

But we do not refer to this type of influence as 'a good influence'. Rather, in most such cases, 'a good influence' is one who helps another maintain their stability. The function of 'a good influence' is passive.

Hubway, so far, has proven to be a good influence. I've yet to lose my balance during a ride.

My brother is a good influence on me. We uniquely know what the other has lost and try our best to keep each other on the path without over correcting.

Guinness helps.

My brother, unlike me, is not a bike rider but, like me, is a beer drinker. That one might be in our blood, as well. Naturally, the collisions of our stories almost always involve a drink, or ten.

There is talk of a concert, or perhaps just aimless wandering under the fullest moon since July, but eventually we sit and laugh over the absurd, the mundane, and the still-open wounds of the past few months.

My ride home from his neighborhood is the closest to drunk I've been on a bike so far. The bike lane is wide, often wide enough to tempt the hurried into passing, but on this night I'm the only one on the road. I'm sober enough to know that alcohol tends to make us cross the line. I focus on pedaling just inside the left-hand side, keep my balance, and make it home.

The next morning, this hungover volunteer arrives at Newmarket. On average, volunteering is proving to be a good influence.

The ride is a direct trip by this point. I've shaved five minutes off my time since August. Any sign of progress is welcome.

09/27/2015 
Back Bay / South End Station (9:32 pm) 
Charles St at Beacon St (9:43 pm)

Sunday night dinner became a bit of a tradition while my mother was very sick. The train to (from?) home always arrived at Back Bay around nine-thirty or so every Sunday night. From there, I would walk home and clear my head a little bit.

My brother and I usually rode the same train together. Most weeks, the same conductor went around collecting or selling tickets. He usually saw us, nodded in recognition, and waved his hand in our direction before moving on. We rarely paid.

I'm still mystified by what happened on those trips. Was he someone from my past, a changed face attached to a story long-forgotten? Perhaps he possessed a level of emotional intelligence rarely seen in public interactions, especially on the 'T'. I suppose the most likely explanation was that he was merely mistaken, confusing us for monthly-pass wielding weekday commuters, but that doesn't feel right to me.

The bike cuts a thirty-five minute stroll down by a third. This means less time to clear my head. But I also have less to clear my head of these days.

11/02/2015
Beacon St / Mass Ave (10:54pm)
Charles St at Beacon St (11:07 pm)

The final trip of the day's riding caps off three months of city cycling. The approaching Boston winter means all kinds of fun things- cold winds, snowy conditions, icy roads- and each is sure to demotivate even the most enthusiastic Hubway member. As long as the weather holds, I'll get my bike rides in while I can.

The Beacon Street at Mass Ave station is marked with a ghost bike. A ghost bike is something new I learned this year. Whenever a rider is killed, an old bike is painted white and placed at the location as a memorial.

The day I finalized my Hubway membership, August 8, was exactly one day after a bike rider was killed at this very intersection. Clearly, I was not deterred by the tragedy. But some friends and family were less than impressed by my new commuting preferences.

Three months on from that day and yet, no visible changes to increase safety at this intersection. I'm sure the budget is stretched thin in the city. All those Christmas decorations due in a month aren't free, you know? No rush, Boston.

11/11/2015
Inman Square at Vellucci Plaza / Hampshire St (6:31 pm)
Porter Square Station (6:45 pm)

My first trip connecting my two favorite 'squares', both located in Cambridge, both shaped like anything but a square. Unlike Boston, Cambridge is a city with a recent history of developing cycling infrastructure. Naturally, my bike rides begin to drift north as I learn to appreciate the city's bike lanes and leisurely yellow lights.

My fondness of Porter Square goes back to my first days in America. My approval of Inman is a more recent development. As with any favorite locations, these invoke the feeling of safety in me. I'm not exactly sure why this is the case. Perhaps it has something to do with good memories, familiarity, or anticipation of another good time.

These safe feelings disappear as a bike rider, though. These are among the worst intersections in the two cities I ride in. I suppose one obvious issue is that each intersection is actually three intersections closely bunched together. Going through one traffic light is difficult enough.

The details of the problems with these intersections differ. Porter Square's main issue is pedestrians. They tend to cross the street whenever they determine it is safe. That's a problem because one of the three traffic signals is located below the others, allowing bikers and cars to pick up speed as they turn a somewhat blind corner onto a sharp slope.

Inman Square's difficulty comes from cars. The left turn from Beacon Street onto Cambridge Street comes at a 135-degree angle. This means cars must travel further into the intersection to make a left turn than is required for a more traditional 90-degree angle. The result is congestion, 'forcing' cars to swerve into the bike lane to pass other cars waiting for a chance to turn left.

The accident in the summer made headlines but the response has been, predictably, slow. It's a typical story of such things. Before big changes take place, there must be discussions, studies, proposals. Meanwhile, people continue to try and make their living, sometimes zooming through intersections on foot, bike, or car in the process.

It's possible that, if I understood the true extent of the danger in riding through parts of Boston and Cambridge, I would never have bothered to make that first trip in August. But I think back to my only other adult experience riding a bike, back in September of 2014. On that day, I rode with two friends on New York City's counterpart to Hubway, Citibike. And even though New York's reputation for poor drivers and jaywalking enthusiasts is well earned, I never encountered intersections like those here at Porter and Inman.

My realization is simple. Most of the cycling in New York takes place on one way streets. Life that flows in one direction is simple. Instead of looking both ways, you look one. Parts of downtown Boston that appear difficult to navigate at first glance (such as Boylston Street) are actually far easier to ride on than streets with bike lanes (such as Mass Ave) due to this reality.

Of course, my realization is admittedly unhelpful in these cities. I suspect Cambridge is unlikely to convert all of its roads into one-way streets anytime soon. It's back to the drawing board for the cities, back to swerving around minivans for the bikers.

11/19/2015
Rowes Wharf - Atlantic Ave (8:20 pm)
The Esplanade - Beacon St. at Arlington St. (8:41 pm)

I learn around eighty-thirty that the reliable 'Charles Circle' station, located a one minute walk from my front door, is now locked away in some warehouse for the winter. I'm not on the station update emailing list so I learn the 'Good Will Hunting' way- one day I come by and, no note, no nothing, it's gone.

I pedal around Beacon Hill until I find an empty rack just past the Cheers bar. When life changes directions, all you can do is handle it. And get on the right emailing list.

Apparently, the Beacon Hill stations are stored first every winter. This creates an interesting effect on the station map- a small disk of white circles (closed stations) surrounded by the green circles (open stations) in a vaguely rounded shape. I guess I live in 'the eye of the storm', so to speak, for the next couple of weeks. The eye of a real storm, total calmness in the middle of swirling turmoil, would probably be more interesting.

11/21/2015
Cambridge St. at Joy St. (6:10 am)
Mass Ave at Newmarket Square (6:33 am)

My earliest Hubway ride to date takes me to the food bank for its annual Thanksgiving distribution. The food bank opens an hour early on this day to accommodate the surge in clients seeking a turkey. By the time we shut down (also an hour later than usual) we've served over sixteen hundred families, around three times the usual amount for a Saturday. It is an incredible day.

The ride down is spectacular. The sun casually emerges in front of me as I pedal southeast down Mass Ave. The sky above brings together all the perfect colors of early morning in a slow-moving collision of gray, purple, pink, and eventually blue. I haven't seen the sun rise like that in months.

11/25/2015
Cambridge St. at Joy St. (7:28 am)
Mass Ave at Newmarket Square (7:59 am)
(31 minutes, 15 seconds = $1.50 fine)

Mass Ave at Newmarket Square (11:14 am)
Lafayette Square at Mass Ave / Main St / Columbia St (11:37 am)

Lafayette Square at Mass Ave / Main St / Columbia St (11:38 am)
Harvard Real Estate - Brighton Mills - 370 Western Ave (11:53 am)

My first fine! A clear indicator that I need a vacation. It is a well-timed one, though, for this is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. I can't wait but, as always, I have no choice.

One August morning, I woke up to realize that I still retained my full allotment of time off. I arranged a slow trajectory of half days, one per week, to allow me to volunteer at the food bank each Wednesday morning until the end of the calendar year. I'm not sure what I'll do next year.

On some weekdays, the food bank is seriously shorthanded. This is not one of those days. I skip out early to join my father for his annual reunion with many of his college friends (though as my own presence confirms, the attendees are not limited to that group). My brother joins us as well, making it a full family affair in the context of November 2015.

Though not all in attendance are close friends of my father's, many offer the kindest condolences to him and to us for our recent loss. Surely, many of these men are suffering through their own challenges yet still muster the words to lighten our day.

I note my own inability to do this at the moment- I'm still almost completely locked into myself, a world of my own thoughts and feelings. I resolve to build up my own ability to serve as a healing presence, at some point. I'm just not quite ready yet.

The day is a break from the routines and demands of everyday life. Much of the time is spent catching up on old stories, amending and fact-checking recollections, and comparing notes on the new interactions and influences that marked the year since the last get-together.

It's a full buffet style meal at the reunion, a significant contrast to where I started the day. Most things don't change that quickly. The process is often frustrating, sometimes enough so to make you want to stop or change directions. In these moments, it seems time goes by so slowly. But time can do so much. It's hard to wait, but, as always, I have no choice.

leftovers: no matter what...

Hi all,

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post titled 'Where Does Art Come From'. This post explored a short story from Ryunosuke Akutagawa's Rashomon... collection called 'Hell Screen'.

One of the major themes in this work was creative inspiration. In a way, Akutagawa poses a simple question- how does one find the source of creativity within their own experience- and explored it through an examination of the consequences for a painter whose answers to this question perhaps did not align with Akutagawa's own feelings on the matter.

I enjoyed this story because I always find myself fascinated whenever an artist talks about the inspiration behind their work. Sometimes, these explanations merely outline the journey a creative work took in the process of growing from idea to finished product. Other times, the artist reveals a part of themselves previously unknown in a way that illuminates how the creative process functions for this person. (1)

One of my favorite examples of the latter comes from a VH1 show called Storytellers. This show allowed artists to mix performances with reflections on the meaning of their music. The result covered everything from funny anecdotes to deeply personal revelations about their work.

In one episode, my favorite rapper T.I. was featured. The entire episode, I thought, was excellent. But the clear best moment for me was his two minute introduction for 'No Matter What'.

In his reflection, he talks about the period of life during which he wrote this record. He was, by his own admission, in 'the most trouble I had ever gotten into in my life'- a significant comment from someone who was arrested several times prior to the age of fourteen. He suggests that in this difficult period, he recognized a pattern in his life to which he is perhaps about to contribute to again. He needed to consider ways to avoid doing the things he always did in similar past situations.

So, though crafting another 'ghetto anthem' would have been defensible given his significant commercial success with such records, T.I. decides to do something different with this experience. 'You have to find a way to make sense of all this,' he recalls for the audience at one point, confessing his innermost thoughts during the songwriting process.

The end result is my favorite T.I. song. The lyrics reflect a work in which T.I. confronts his own circumstances, poor decisions, and bad luck head on. He acknowledges his hurt and draws strength from it, using his pain as a turning point of sorts for how he processes his experience as a source of creative work.

'Life can change you directions
Even when you ain't planned it
All you can do is handle it
The worst thing you could do is panic
Use it to your advantage'

In another set of lyrics, he seems to point a finger at those in his field who are unwilling, uninterested, or incapable of doing this, instead relying on imitating others and constructing a lifestyle that they feel comfortable writing about in their own music.

'I show you how to do
What you do
You ain't got a clue
All you do is follow dudes
Sound like a lot of dudes'

The best part about this is, T.I. himself was in a way part of the group he describes. The commitment to a certain lifestyle contributed to the problems he faced. In acknowledging this aspect of his experience, he is again finding a way to make sense of his situation and laying out a path for himself to progress forward. Instead of taking the easy way out by sticking to familiar territory, he resolves to reflect, process, and understand his experience as the first step toward a different outcome in both his life and his songwriting.

The line that best summarizes 'No Matter What' comes towards the end of his Storytellers introduction. 'There's something in me, I don't know what it is, there's something in me that you don't got.'

In that line, T.I. summarizes a truth that I thought Akutagawa communicated in 'Hell Screen'- to bring a creative work into the world means drawing out what already resides within the deepest, most hidden depths of the artist.

The trickiest part is how the artist himself often does not know what is there. Only through commitment to processing one's honest experience is this possible. Constructing a fraudulent experience brings the truth of this process into considerable danger.

Thanks again for reading. Have a nice weekend and, hopefully, see you back again on Monday.

Tim

Footnotes / imagined complaints

1. As Patti Smith commented in Just Kids, an artist sees what others cannot.

Over the summer, I went to several jazz performances where the musicians paused between songs to talk about what inspired their creation of a particular piece. Generally, I saw absolutely no connection with their comments and their music.

Initially, I assumed this was some defect on the part of the performer. Surely, anyone can describe why they created something. Over the course of the summer, though, I recognized my immaturity in such a conclusion. There are many things I see which I cannot describe with any clarity, eloquence, or understanding.

My ear for music is less refined than those who perform a piece they have thought over and rehearsed for many hours. Over time, I'm sure I'll start to understand a little better what someone means when they reference a specific inspiration prior to a musical performance.

the real reason for a full blog

Hi all,

On February 29, I logged into Wordpress and published my reflections on how two books I read in 2011 changed my life. This moment was a long time coming. People around me have suggested I try writing something, anything, for years.

The process of finally turning a lifetime of disorganized writing in my head (thinking) into organized thinking in print (writing) presented a number of challenges. Some (such as doing the actual writing) I successfully anticipated. Others (such as proofreading) I was less prepared for.

I remember the first task that posed a challenge was naming. Naming the posts were tricky enough. But at least if I named a post poorly, I could resolve to do better the next time. I eventually stopped worrying about naming posts.

The blog itself was a bigger challenge. Once named, a blog is difficult to rename. I know more people who have changed their name than I do blogs.

So, I considered my options carefully throughout the month of February. I used up all the time I could. Thankfully, it was a leap year and I took full advantage of the calendar quirk. After deliberating throughout the month, I went with A Full Blog.

I do not recall if I was happy or unhappy with the decision. The facts show that, after about four posts, I changed the name to True On Average. I obviously was not happy enough to keep it! Since that moment, I have not given the name of this blog a second (third?) thought. (1)

Like a lot of origin stories, the True On Average name is much less interesting in practice than in concept. One day, I was listening to a podcast. The host made a comment about something being true, on average. I laughed, then thought- 'hey, that kind of describes the pseudo-truth I post here! Maybe that name will work better than A Full Blog.' And here we are.

Unlike A Full Blog, I did not get any questions about True On Average. Readers accepted the name for what it was. I think this is mostly because it is a good name for a blog.

On the other hand, I was asked a lot of questions about A Full Blog. (I do not see this as proof that the original name was a bad one, of course, but I think it was obvious to observers that the name was something I came up with after some amount of thought. So, given evidence of a thought process, readers naturally inquired about that process.)

I gave many reasons in response to this question, all of them true. Like for many things, though, whenever there are a lot of collected reasons, there is usually a much simpler 'real reason' underlying the whole explanation.

I'm reminded of the real reason about once per year. Early in December, ESPN highlights the achievements and ongoing efforts of The V Foundation for Cancer Research during its annual 'Jimmy V Week'. Held in honor of former NC State basketball coach Jim Valvano, all the money raised goes directly to support the efforts of the foundation.

Valvano, despite coaching his 1983 team to an improbable NCAA tournament championship, is best-known for his speech at the 1993 ESPN awards show, the Espys. He took the stage in the midst of a year-long battle with bone cancer, a disease he would succumb to just two months later. Valvano somehow puts aside the debilitating pain of his illness for ten minutes to deliver an unforgettable speech. At the conclusion of the speech, he announces the creation of the foundation dedicated to the research required for finding a cure for cancer.

For quite a few years in a row, I've made it a point to watch the speech sometime in December. It is certain to rank among the best speeches I will ever hear. Having watched it in its entirety somewhere between five and ten times, I know the content of it well enough to think back to it at unexpected times.

One such time was in February. I was considering starting a blog with more seriousness than ever before. I considered what topics such a project would lead me to write about. At some point, I remembered the following quote from the speech:

'To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.'

I've always really liked his idea of a full day, one where you think, you laugh, and you cry. It's a heck of a speech, a full speech, for the same reasons. As I considered different approaches for the blog, the loose direction of the 'full' definition provided a possible path down which to wander.

So, despite the honest answer I gave to questions, naming the blog A Full Blog was a quiet tribute to my favorite speech. It clarified what I would try to write about- my attempt at a fuller life, filled with the things that made me think, laugh, or cry.

Things are never as simple as you plan, particularly when the plans are really simple. As it turns out, writing about thinking is fairly straightforward. Humor and emotion, not so much. I can work bits and pieces of those into my writing from time to time but not many posts so far explicitly focused on what I found funny or what moved my emotions.

When I suspect I've written something good, it is almost always because I feel the writing will make a reader think, laugh, or cry. In these moments, I feel like I've successfully done what I set out to do. The ongoing challenge of accomplishing this time and again is that everyone thinks, laughs, or cries for different reasons.

Each of these three ideas plays a role in helping people relate to one another. From my own experience, I know I am uncomfortable watching someone cry over what fails to move me. To remain unamused while others laugh or to fail to keep pace with another's line of thinking always reminds me of how I differ from others. The failure to relate to others in these instances eventually leaves me feeling isolated.

The greatness of this speech is in how well I relate to Valvano's experience. I've never coached college basketball but I can relate to his imposter's feeling, of being in charge without experience, confidence tilting toward arrogance, thinking 'I'm twenty-one years old, the kids are nineteen, and I'm going to be the greatest coach in the world'. I know exactly what it's like to realize what I'm doing won't be enough and yet resolve to keep going, anyway. What else can you do when it's just being who you are?

It is amazing that this speech resonates so deeply with so many. I bet one reason is because the speech makes people think, laugh, and cry. Do that every day and you'll really start to relate to other people. If you can cultivate the empathy and understanding to do that seven days a week, replenishing rather than depleting yourself in the process, you'll become something really special.

Here is a link to the speech. As many others have pointed out before me, it is very much worth the ten minutes.

Thanks as always for reading. Back again next Wednesday.

Tim

Footnotes / imagined complaints

1. Who, what, when, how...

I originally wrote this post in April in a typical moment of self-absorption an attempt to clarify the name change for my readers. I framed the post as a conversation of sorts, similar to my first Hubway post, in which I answer those above questions about the blog.

The catch was that, after I answered each question, I would give the real reason- the point of the whole exercise was to look at how, for a given reason, there is always an underlying 'real reason'. In the original post, I would do this by asking 'why' as a follow up to each answer. Anyone familiar with second-graders will recognize the tactic.

Unfortunately, though I did find the post helpful as an organizing principle for the blog, I did not see how it could be of any interest at all to an eager reader (unless they really liked the board game Clue). So I decided to sit on it until I wrote about the Jim Valvano speech.

Here is a stripped-down summary of the rubbish I shelved back in April.

Q: What?

A: Things I've learned, mostly from reading, but I'm open to anything. Bang bangs, bike riding, books, it's like Clue, really, I'll just try to consistently explore new area and figure out the whole thing as I go.

Q: Why?

A: Well, the idea is to improve at writing. I suspect writing is mostly formalizing what I think about. I mostly think about what I read but sometimes I just think.

Q: Who?

A: Just me, for now.

Q: That's not like Clue. You figure out who at the end.

A: Fine. Well, guest posts are welcome, I suppose, so maybe sometimes it won't be just me.

Q: Why?

A: Collaborating for a pointless blog seems like a nightmare for now. But if someone finishes a post and they want me to put it here, that person can be my guest. I used to do that with my fantasy football league's newsletter.

I'll probably do a similar alter-ego type thing if I ever start writing about specific topics, like playing FIFA or being a business bro.

Q: When?

A: Tuesday and Fridays, between 11am and noon. To keep readers on their toes, I'll use a random number generator to pick the exact minute.

Q: Why?

A: Well, you know, its like Clue, even if you don't know anything you have to start somewhere. Two days a week seemed reasonable enough, even with how long editing and proofreading turned out to be.

The 11am to noon posting block targets the demographic I think I'll appeal to most: the bored at lunch nine-to-fiver. I might not be worth reading, yet, but I probably won't lose readers, either, if I ask for their attention when it is already wandering.

Q: Where?

A: Well, its True On Average now but it used to be A Full Blog.

Q: That's not much like Clue, either, though I suppose maybe it you aren't any good at it you might get the location wrong.

A: What's with all this Clue stuff?

Q: You made the Clue analogy, clueless, not me. I'm just pointing out rubbish where I see it.

A: Whatever.

Q: Why?

A: Why what?

Q: Why True On Average?

A: I switched over to True On Average after hearing an EconTalk podcast where the host, Russ Roberts, made a remark about how something his guest declared true as actually being closer to 'true on average'. I thought it made a lot of sense as a summary for what I write about- there is a certain lack of rigor in how I present facts but I try to avoid acting as if outright statements of opinion apply universally. Despite publishing my first four posts on A Full Blog, I liked the phrase enough to transition over within a week of hearing that podcast.

Q: Why A Full Blog, initially?

A: I originally called it A Full Blog for a small collection of reasons.

First, the pronunciation is easily stretched to sound like 'Awful Blog' and the wordplay involved appealed to me.

Also, it was unknown at the time whether I could maintain some semblance of a set schedule. Recognizing this, I chose a blog name behind which I could hide. If I ever went over a week between posts, I could just say 'the blog is always full' to those wondering when the next post was.

A less than obvious name also creates its own content. I feared a bleak day in the future (editor's note: December 9, 2016) where my ability to generate ideas would abandon me. Therefore, having a post ready to go on the topic of the blog name itself served the need for a safety net in the event I found my blogging inkwell dry.

prop admin- november 2016 reading review

Hi all,

The usual roundup of what I finished reading in November. As was the case in August, there is a big gap in terms of finish dates. This time, I'll cite my own post-election thinking as the culprit for taking away some of my free time from reading. I'm still thinking about it, really, but once I'm through I'll cobble together some kind of post.

But all that is for another day. Let's get back on track.

Without any further ramblings...

*The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (10/21)

First things first, I'll start with this one from October that I forgot to include in last month's review post. Chapman's basic premise is that everyone processes acts of love differently. He groups these acts into five general categories- words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch- and notes that, for most people, one of these acts tend to resonate more than the others.

I thought this book was brilliant, a conclusion I am somewhat surprised by. Though I have enjoyed books with similar titles in the past- notably The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People- in general I find these books focus a little too heavily on the nuts and bolts of the habits/languages/etc counted in the title at the expense of clearly explaining the intuition behind the main idea. (1)

This was not the case here. Chapman does well to bring the skeptical reader around to his idea, mixing examples and reasoning as needed to clarify potentially confusing ideas. He also steps back, almost philosophically, to detail how love is a choice, freely given, and that like many such things the choice to love comes unnaturally to us. To succeed in any unnatural venture requires skills. Thus, it may be that learning a new 'love language' is among the skills that must be learned.

How does someone determine their own love language? The simplest way is to think about when one feels most loved. If that does not work, perhaps studying one's criticisms is a possible approach. Chapman cites criticisms as an ineffective way to express a need for love. Chapman also includes a self-test in the book which will, if taken honestly, reveal one's love language. (2)

I cannot read such a book without considering how it applies to me. My conclusion is that words of affirmation is my love language although quality time checks in at a close second. I went about this in a negative way- I thought back to what stung or hurt me over the years. I recognized that, although I likely received useless gifts or pointless service at different points in the course of my life, I do not have much recall at all for these events. (So to those who've managed to find me substandard gifts over the years- congratulations, you are off the hook for it seems I have been counting the thoughts.)

On the other hand, my recall for negative comments and distracted time is pretty strong. I think I am much more forgiving, though, with the latter. I accepted long ago that people will focus on the TV if it is on, absent-mindedly scroll through their phone during quiet moments, or zone out during a conversation. My tendency to shut out people who've said hurtful things to me in the past makes me suspect that there is something true about words that runs just as far in the positive direction.

*Long Life by Mary Oliver (11/1)

A very short volume mixing essays with poetry, I found Long Life interesting without necessarily being memorable. As many of her longtime readers note, Oliver writes to illuminate the beauty she observes in the world around her. This book is a collection that earns the description with each page.

I enjoyed some of her observations about writing. For Oliver, the empathetic writer is the one who gently suggests what requires a longer look. This requires mastery of tone for getting the tone wrong means nothing else will be right.

The idea I liked the most- the owl is peaceful until he is hungry. Aren't we all?

*Before I Die by Candy Chang (11/7)

One day, Candy Chang wrote 'Before I die...' on a converted wall of an abandoned home in her New Orleans neighborhood. Passerby used chalk to complete the sentence in any way they chose. The project spread as people all over the globe took up the idea and erected or converted walls of their own. This book chronicled many examples of these walls.

The walls collect a wide spectrum of human longings, ideas, and vulnerabilities. I found most notable the attainability of so many ideas on a surface level- 'I want to get a tattoo' or 'I want to go to France' or 'I want to be myself', so on. The sheer volume of such wishes reveals how challenging life becomes at times- for many, even seeking out the simple experiences we know will nourish us becomes a daunting task.

I found it hard to understand the nearly impossible wishes, ideas like 'meet George Washington' or 'fly to the moon on a sled'. Perhaps these writers felt completely boxed in by the rules of physics, time, or reality. I suppose in that sense the use of a wall to collect these desires was most appropriate.

When I first read Before I Die in 2015, I found it very moving. This more recent reading did not rekindle that feeling. I think this reflects something about my changes in my worldview over that time. (3)

*Fallen Leaves by Will Durant (11/8)

Durant was a significant figure in history and philosophy whose many achievements in those fields culminated with a Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1977. A notable feature of this Pulitzer Prize winner's writing is the lack of personal ideology in his work.

This collection of short essays, published almost twenty-five years after his death, is his response to those who wished to learn more about his personal views and longed to hear him speak his mind on the subjects he spent over six decades researching and writing about.

The acknowledgment that society never plans for peace with the same attention to detail found in planning for war was a striking idea in this work. He describes the condition of peace as unnatural and concludes that, like anything unnatural, it will require dedicated effort from society's greatest thinkers and planners. Without the constant attention of first-rate minds, Durant sees limits to a peaceful society's capacity to resist the never ending incentives for war.

I'll leave it at that for today. A fuller recap is required for this book. I'll save that for a better time in the near future.

*Just Kids by Patti Smith (11/26)

This memoir details Smith's relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe and their experience as poor, struggling artists in the New York of the late sixties and early seventies. Smith's winning of the 2010 National Book Award (nonfiction) for this memoir, her first work of prose, underlies her significant versatility as an artist.

I tried writing my thoughts about this book for nearly an hour. I gave up upon realizing that I was going nowhere. Unlike my experience with even the stupidest of books (did anyone catch my post last week about the Animorphs?) I found little here in the way of the distilled insight that so easily translates to material for this space.

Early on in the book, Smith describes a revelation that 'to be an artist was to see what others could not'. The line sums it up best for me, both in the reading process and in trying to articulate it here.

I felt many times throughout Just Kids that I was right there, witnessing and sharing the experiences of Smith's life with her. But at other points, I felt a little like an outsider. No matter how well-written a given passage, there was no guarantee that I, too, could see what Smith saw.

I don't think this outsider feeling is an unintentional result. Smith's emotions are not as open as I perhaps expected from such a memoir. This served to keep me at arm's length from her inner life and allowed my attention as a reader to focus on the various scenes, people, and work that she involved herself in.

I also thought her progression from wandering the streets homeless to recording her first studio album comes a little suddenly. Surely, the work involved in achieving such success merits closer examination in a memoir-length work. It did not occur to me until the final pages that this, too, was likely intentional, or at very least an honest reflection of what mattered most to Smith about this time in her life.

Overall, I found it a thoroughly enjoyable read. I only knew Smith from a very limited sampling of her music and from reading M Train earlier this year. I expect this experience, covering her initial, formative years as an artist, to prove beneficial in helping me see more connections and understand her work as I come across it again in the coming years.

*Dear Data by Giorgia Lupi and Stefanie Posavec (11/27)

The premise of this book is that the two authors send each other one postcard per week about their lives. Each week features a different theme- alone time, sounds, urban wildlife, etc- and the catch is that instead of describing this information in writing, these two will visualize it through a drawing of their data. I enjoyed this one but I would not recommend it to anyone not seriously interested in drawing or in finding new ways to analyze the tiny details of their own lives.

Given the highly-personalized nature of the information here, this was a tough read to draw any major insights from. Both authors reference at times how the act of measuring their own behavior served to influence their actual behavior. That's a common complaint of many who struggle with the basic truism that what gets measured gets managed.

I thought a number of times that the artistic quality of these postcards came at the cost of clarity in the information they were based on. This was almost always the case anytime more than ten colors were used in a given postcard. I should acknowledge that, since this book was about artistic quality, my comment is more a generalization of what I consider the best way to convey information through graphics rather than anything regarding what I consider 'artful'.

Again, a fun read if perhaps not immediately useful to me. If you are on the fence about checking it out, I believe the blog of the same name has some examples that may prove helpful in your decision.

*The Art of Cruelty by Maggie Nelson (11/28)

This is the fifth (I think) book I've read from Nelson in this calendar year. As I did with the others, I enjoyed this book tremendously. The broad idea here is to examine cruelty. The result is a wide-ranging work that uses her leaps of insight to balance the findings of her extensive research. (4)

Nelson makes a number of insights regarding the implication of a society that brings together cruelty and entertainment. This combination, at times, forces viewers to wonder if they are truly just spectators to the act or if they are somehow responsible for its existence by virtue of contributing to its demand. It also raises the question of how the entertainment one enjoys relates to one's own inherent nature. A person who seeks out a violent movie need not be violent- but then how can this person enjoy the film? I think some football fans are working out similar feelings as awareness of the sport's mental health consequences increases.

Nelson considers the point at which the passive bystander become complicit in the act he or she fails to intervene in. One observation Nelson makes is that, time and again, humans prove that their capacity to absorb cruelty and move on exceeds their desire to alter routine behavior, even when made aware of how their habits are perhaps contributing in some microscopic way to the event in question. With this thought in mind, it is ironic that a common public reaction to scandal or wrongdoing is the assertion- 'they ought to be ashamed of themselves'- a perfectly reasonable one until it is considered that those with the capacity to feel shame in their cruelty likely never act in such a way to begin with.

There is a spurious logic pattern that cruelty perhaps falls into. Accept too many cruel acts and one starts to consider it inherent. It feeds into the change-phobic side of us that what we were is what we will always be. Though people have been cruel to extraordinary degrees throughout history, past actions should serve as no predictor of behavior.

Cruelty is always divisive. What one understands as required another will see as unnecessary. The way toward a world without such gratuitous suffering is one where divided groups are brought together. A unified examination of whether the accepted means are truly necessary will foster progress toward this most desirable of ends.

A couple of other scattered thoughts to finish up with. I liked Nelson's thought about kindness- the ability to bear the vulnerability of others. She also makes an interesting comment about the expression 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. I agree that a second look is perhaps a better fit with modern times, though I find the suggested 'do unto others as they would have you unto them is' somewhat unwieldy.

*So, what next?

December is shaping up as a decent reading month. Longtime favorite Tim Harford is back with a new book, Messy, perhaps lazily framed as a counter-argument to Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic Of Tidying Up, and Simone Weil's First and Last Notebooks is off to a good start.

As the end of the month approaches, I'll prepare a post about my favorite books from this year. It seems a lot of publications post this kind of thing before Christmas (it might even be appropriate in some cases). I tend to read right until the ball drops so I cannot afford such a luxury.

Until then, expect the usual mix of nonsense and exploration.

Back on Friday. Thanks again for reading.

All the best,

Tim

Footnotes / imagined complaints

1. First things first is a 'seven habit'...

I wondered, given the similar structure of the book, if one drew on the other for its layout ideas. Covey's Seven Habits was published just a year prior to Chapman's Love Languages, so I think the possibility is remote.

Chapman, like Covey, cashed in on the success of his bestseller. Some of the titles are eye-catching, so to speak, but having read Covey's family-specific edition of the Seven Habits, I think I'll pass on Chapman's follow ups. It seems very likely that these books will just repeat what was clearly described in the original.

I could be wrong about this, of course, but I'm willing to be. These little trade-offs define the difficult task of choosing what to read next. As a coffee mug I 'inherited' from my mother states this conundrum best- 'So many books, so little time!'

2. No one told me there was going to be a test!

I thought the layout of this test was pretty good. It was thirty questions, each giving the test-taker one of two options. Each response correlated to one of the five love languages. After studying it briefly, I realized it was like a tournament where each concept is pitted against the other in round-robin fashion until a final winner was determined.

Since there are five languages, ten questions are sufficient to correctly rank the five options after one round-robin. With thirty total questions, I suppose this 'tournament' was structured in a triple-round robin fashion.

3. No one cares, just tell us what you got!

As I noted above for Love Languages, I eventually think about myself as I read books like this. What would I write on this wall?

Theoretically, I should just write down what I'm doing with my life that day. Time is short, you know? Do what you love and all that.

But I think I am like many others in that I rarely spend a day doing the things I deeply long to do before I die. (Except write blog posts for you guys, of course.)

The most likely candidates after several seconds of deep thought are as follows:

*Quirky-morbid funny (I'll double check that I put on deodorant)
*Much less in my control than I admit (adopt a kid)
*Much more in my control than I admit (raise a seeing-eye dog)
*Dull but realistic (teach myself to play piano)
*Selfless yet egotistical (catch a baby/human that fell from several stories up)
*Pointless protest (see the Green Line run properly, once)

4. So, did you save the best for last?

This, I suspect, is the final Nelson book I'll read this year (a stunning prediction, I know, given that I am in 100% control of such things). Though I have yet to establish a formal ranking, I know this book was not the best of them. Alas, such expressions as 'you save the best for last'- true, except when they are not.

i read the animorphs so you don't have to

Hi all,

I often joke about 2015 was 'the year of no successes'. But this moniker, perhaps clever, is technically untrue. I did have one massive success in 2015- I finally managed to finish reading K.A. Applegate's Animorphs series. (1)

It turned out that, despite perhaps being the oldest person in world history to ever read these books, I managed to draw a number of valuable reinforcements from my project last year. To commemorate the one-year anniversary of my reading, I made a list of these concepts that I drew from re-reading the series.

In the interest of keeping this post under ten millions words, though, I limited it to one observation per major character plus a couple of thoughts I linked to memorable minor ones.

Without further ado, then- a list of things I could have learned at ten had I paid more attention while reading...

******************

Jake- focusing entirely on process over outcomes is an academic concept

It takes about two-thirds of the first book to establish the basic premise for the next sixty-three books. There is an alien invasion, circumstances (somehow) dictate only five kids can (secretly) fight it, they'll do this by turning into animals for up to two hours at a time, they'll call themselves the Animorphs, and there are possibly some love ('like') interests among those in the group. A standard mix of fantasy, realism, shipping potential, and mind-numbing nonsense for those familiar with the genre.

The less important issue of leadership comes soon after. It begins when the group spontaneously agrees that Jake should be the leader. Why? Why not!

'You're the leader. You just are,' is the closest thing to a reason provided (or something like that, as I'm quoting from memory there). Well, then! Plus, he's tall and good-looking, or so Cassie says.

Despite no formal decision to make Jake the leader and no stated desire from him to serve as the leader, it just kind of becomes the case over time. The hierarchy established, the rest of the series emphasizes the strength of Jake as a leader.

The consistent lesson about power and leadership is driven home by contrasting Jake to other leaders in the series. Time and again, the negative results of a leader's concern with establishing their own power prove decisive in a given plot. The power-blind failures of other leaders create opportunities that the Animorphs take advantage of to narrowly escape dangerous situations or, on rare occasions, win a battle.

Jake's leadership differed from those he crossed paths with. He maintained a process-oriented mentality whenever possible. This meant doing things the right way- the classic 'we will not become the enemy' thinking- even as circumstances tempted him to do otherwise. Such consistent, principled leadership did not mean Jake was never questioned or doubted by his team. But these concerns were focused on his decisions, not his leadership, and the group trusted Jake throughout the war to wield his power in the best interest of the war effort.

And yet, when the desired outcome is clear, process is only relevant to a point. There is no better example of this idea than Jake. At multiple times in the series, he decides the fate of unarmed prisoners. He does not make the same decision each time. His failure to uphold his own principles by the end of the war drives home this major lesson from the series. After countless battles over multiple years, even a leader of Jake's strength makes decisions aimed at ending the war no matter the cost to allies, innocents, or his own psyche.

Jake's path in the series reveals the contradiction built into emphasizing process over outcomes. No amount of high-minded rhetoric extolling the virtues of process will change the fact that all process exists to achieve outcomes. At some point, the outcome appears so close that the temptation to abandon process becomes too great to resist.

Rachel- without balance, strengths are in danger of becoming weaknesses

Rachel is the true warrior of the group. At times, those in the group speculate that Rachel likes the war, that she is in a way grateful for it. Her involvement enabled her true self to shine through in a way that math class, gymnastics, or shopping at the mall never allowed.

Rachel's choices of animals to turn into (grizzly bear, elephant, etc), her enthusiastic preference for combat over stealth missions, and her consistent place at the front of the line whenever the group charges into the teeth of the enemy all perpetuate this thinking. But it is tolerated for her attitude and bravery embolden many in the group and her ferocity as a warrior open up many opportunities to hurt the enemy that prove invaluable to the team.

However, Rachel's boldness in battle often veers into sheer recklessness. A number of occasions see her bravado endanger the lives of others in the team.

Rachel's stories in the series highlight the need for balance. Sometimes, balance comes from within. This is the case for those in the team who harness the aggression inherent in the animal forms they take on to enter battle.

For someone like Rachel, internal balance is impossible. Jake, in another example highlighting his ability as a leader, brings this balance on many occasions. He steps in to prevent Rachel's aggression from causing damage to herself or plans battle strategy to limit the possibility of her over-extension into enemy territory.

Her struggle throughout the series to control her own aggression demonstrates the age old adage of having too much of a good thing. As a runner whose injuries tend to come from running too much or someone who has been drunk, once (or twice)- I can relate to the experience of pushing too far when things are going well. Like Goldilocks, the blond haired Rachel is a reminder of the importance of 'just right' despite the obvious temptations to seek out the extremes.

Cassie- live your gimmick

I imagine Cassie is a favorite character for many readers of the series. She is, perhaps disappointingly for the bloodthirsty reader, almost entirely committed to pacifism.

Despite fully involving herself in almost all the battles, Cassie is constantly bringing what Marco describes as 'morals' into the team's discussions. She keeps one eye locked on questions of ethics at all times, even in the midst of horrible situations brought on by the war, and sometimes becomes so distracted by her 'tree hugging' (Marco again) that her commitment to the war effort is called into question.

One specific incident highlights this point better than any other. In one rather incredible book, Cassie steps out of the war. She does so by brokering a mutual agreement with one of the enemy- she'll stop morphing if the Yeerk agrees to step away from her role as an invader. This is not a particularly helpful agreement for the Animorphs- Cassie is one of six fighting thousands. Luckily, they are able to get away with the well-intentioned error thanks to an unknown technicality regarding the morphing technology.

And yet, Cassie ultimately proves the value of a peaceful approach even in the middle of a fierce war. It is her decision, motivated as always by her peaceful nature, that ultimately proves a decisive factor in ending the invasion. It would have been so easy for Cassie, at almost any point in the series, to choose to ignore who she was while involved in the battle. And yet, by living in a way fully true to her nature throughout, she was able to do exactly what was required when it counted the most.

I think, sometimes, it becomes very easy to lose sight of this kind of thing. We forget, for example, that such a thing as commitment is trivial without constant acts of commitment. We spend our time thinking or feeling that we are a certain way without ever actually doing the things consistent with such a person. I'm reminded of my own recognition just over a year ago that, though I considered myself a charitable fellow, it had been years since I donated a nickel to a cause or given an hour of service to the community.

I worry that those who live too long in a way untrue to themselves or in conflict with their own perceptions wake up one day and realize that they became who they pretended all along to be. Cassie provides a prescription against such a morning. At all times, she retains her sense of self and never allows her role as a warrior to take over her identity. She knows herself well enough that she can carry the contradiction of being a peace-loving killer without allowing it to unbalance her or limit her ability to contribute to the cause.

Marco- you should laugh and you should cry

Marco is the most outwardly reluctant of the team to participate in the battle but, upon learning that his mother is among those already enslaved by the enemy, is among the most dependable in the group throughout the series. (2)

Most fans will likely remember Marco for his worldview- you can laugh or you can cry. Marco, framing the expression as a choice, chooses the former. But as the series moves forward, I started to see the options as another example of required balance. Laughing and crying are not the mutually exclusive options that Marco frames them to be.

Marco illustrates the danger of laughing when perhaps he would be better off crying. By withholding his own feelings from his fellow Animorphs and failing to acknowledge these emotions to himself, Marco makes himself more difficult to trust. In more than one instance, these failures manifest in ways that place the entire team in mortal danger.

I think it goes the other way, as well, in that there is danger to over-sensitivity, in letting what could be easily laughed off pierce or wound instead. (Marco, as mentioned earlier, is very astute in recognizing this possibility with Cassie.) In framing laugh or cry as a choice, though, Marco hardens himself emotionally instead of dealing with his pain in a healthy way. It prevents him, among other things, from growing over the course of the series in the way Cassie did.

Tobias- people respond to incentives- but not always like you think

As mentioned above, one of the ground rules for the series was that no animal form can be taken for more than two hours by anyone. The consequences are significant- anyone in morph for longer than that will remain stuck in that form, unable to return to human form, for the rest of their lives.

In a plot twist that would have made Chekhov proud, Tobias is trapped in a red-tailed hawk morph almost immediately. By the end of book #1, the Animorphs are down one morph-capable human (but benefit in other ways from Tobias's consistent aerial presence).

There are many easy lessons to draw from Tobias's story. In many ways, his transformation into a bird of prey brings out the very best of his character. Tobias endures his suffering in a manner that ultimately fosters his growth. When granted an opportunity to return to his human form, Tobias declines, opting instead to regain only his morphing ability. There is much wisdom in interpreting his story through the lens of a trapped mind escaping the fate of its body.

However, I have taken a perhaps simpler and certainly less direct interpretation here. Tobias shows us that what glitters is not always gold, especially to those uninterested in wealth. To the other Animorphs, the two-hour limit is to be obeyed at all costs. And yet, as it turns out for others, the same two hours is merely a waiting period prior to salvation, to escape from the body that imprisons.

It reminds me of something I've prattled on about in this space before- incentives are often falsely treated as dictum. People, it turns out, are much more complex and their decisions are much more difficult to predict than is suggested by incentivization. A bonus scheme might encourage more effort- or it might help an employee realize that the time is not worth the reward. (3)

Ax- it is very hard to acknowledge how people change

Ax, the sixth and final main character, is the only non-human member of the group. He joins the Animorphs after his spaceship crash lands into the ocean. Though only the equivalent of a cadet in the military structure of his species, the Andalites, Ax nevertheless proves immensely valuable thanks to his knowledge of the alien universe.

At a number of times in the series, the team is able to make contact with the Andalites. Each time, I found notable how quickly Ax reverts to his ingrained social habits. Despite massive success as a participant in the battle on Earth, Ax remains a cadet in the eyes of his superiors and acts like it whenever he communicates with them.

It is striking how familiar patterns of communication take over, often without warning, in social settings. We talk about how it was 'just like the old times' whenever we see old friends even though, invariably, no person remains exactly the same during even the briefest of separations.

Perhaps it is simply too difficult or risky to make the full effort, each time, to redefine relationships based on what's just come to pass. On the other hand, though, it is a fact that close friends drift apart all the time. Perhaps an increased willingness to acknowledge and explore the ways we change every day is one step toward building strong and lasting relationships.

Cassie's dad- deal with what is

Cassie's dad is a veterinarian who takes care of injured wildlife in a barn behind their home. In one book, Cassie is upset about a bird that was clearly left for dead by an unknown person. How could someone injure an animal like this, she cries.

Her dad's advice is very simple- don't worry about how it should be, just deal with what is.

The temptation to dwell in the past limits our ability to make a full impact in the present. Instead of encouraging people to find ways to make the world a better place, such thought patterns encourage people to throw their hands up in the air, blame the powers that be, or simply check out from the problem entirely. All of these responses serve to give away the power that all persons comes into the world with.

Visser Three- The Peter Principle

Visser Three is the leader of the invading forces, the Yeerks. His rise, chronicled in various snippets throughout the series, details a power-hungry lunatic whose only tactical response to almost every situation is violence. The Peter Principle is a management theory which states that people are promoted until they reach a job that they cannot do. The quote attributed to the inventor, Laurence J. Peter, is well-known- 'managers rise to the level of their incompetence'.

Fortunately for Visser Three's career prospects, the Yeerks are a very violent species. It takes him to around sixteenth in command and third in the field within the military hierarchy. Such a lofty position places him in charge of the invasion of Earth.

This is where the Visser meets his (her? The Yeerks, perhaps, are so advanced that they do not use gender designations) bureaucratic match. The stealth tactics needed to invade Earth with minimal loss of resources are a poor fit for Visser Three's behead first, behead later leadership style.

On the other hand, what did his/her superiors expect? All the Visser did in prior conflicts was behead first, behead later. The Visser rose, rank after rank, until his blade-happy tactics became the source of incompetence, not merit.

Personally, I find the Peter Principle one of the more pointless concepts I've ever had enthusiastically explained to me. It defines academic- an observation which predicts failure without prescribing solution. To hire without considering past performance or merit invites politics. And don't we all love politics?

The Ellimist- love conquers hate

The Ellimist is a god-like figure whose considerable power allows him to make changes in what is referred to as 'space-time'. In short, this means he is capable of almost anything, except of course when he isn't. Tough to explain, really.

The biggest limit to his power is his enemy, the Crayak. The Crayak is interested in consolidating his power through the destruction of potential challengers. The Ellimist battles with him throughout the galaxy to contain his evil intentions and preserve as much life as possible.

Early on in their struggle, the Crayak gains the upper hand. The turning point comes when the Ellimist changes his strategy. Instead of trying to defend every one of the Crayak's targets from extinction, the Ellimist wanders the galaxy, creating new life. He creates life at a rate faster than the Crayak is able to destroy it. The trend is acceptable to neither and a truce is called. When the conflict resumes, it does so under newly established ground rules limiting the direct intervention of these two beings in the fates of sentient species.

The lesson here is tough to work with in any immediate way, no doubt about it. It certainly looks nice on fortune cookies. And yet, I sense there is something important to it.

It reminds me of a lesson from Thich Nhat Hanh's How To Love. He describes how the heart is like a cup holding water. When life, inevitably, pours salt into the cup, the task is not to bemoan the salt or throw away the cup. Rather, it is to expand the cup so that the salt becomes diluted and the agony of the salt is borne with lessened intensity. The heart expands only through love and only through a lifetime of such growth is it possible to bear the many griefs, losses, and sufferings that we all encounter on the journey of a full life.

******************

And that does it...goodbye, young adult section of the library...

Thanks as always for reading. I'll be back Monday with something more adult.

Until then, take care.

Tim

Footnotes / imagined complaints

1. Well, 2015 was before 2016...wait, you did WHAT all year?

This was no cheap achievement, even if you factor in that the books were written for fifth-graders. The series spans sixty-four total books and each took between one and two hours for me to read...in 2015...as a fully-grown adult.

Though no math wizard am I, it appears I spent up to five whole days reading these books in 2015. On second thought, maybe this was not an achievement at all.

This moment was at least seventeen years in the making. I recall talking to a classmate in fifth grade about the most recent release (specifically book #26 and the tiger on its cover) so I am confident stating that I was reading them in that year. At some point after that conversation, I stopped reading the series. If memory serves correctly, this was somewhere around book #38, about fifteen shy of the end. According to a combination of my best guesswork and a glance at the publication dates, this stoppage took place around the middle of 2000.

It would make sense that I stop at that point. The cool kids in junior high weren't reading Animorphs, you know? Or just reading at all, really. Everyone just watched TV. Actually, now that I consider it, things have not changed much since then. Moving right along...

So, from around that point until December of last year, I lived in a constant state of suspense about the conclusion of the series. Who died? What...well, that was about it. WHO DIED? I knew someone died. Hopefully Voldemort. He was mean.

Driven by the need to answer that pressing question (and to perhaps clear up a confusion or two with other popular series), I dove right into the Animorphs at the start of last year. I read about five or six books per month to keep a consistent pace throughout the year. And, unsurprisingly, someone did die in the end.

I was surprised by a lot of other things. The books were not all good- some were outright bad- but some were very, very good. Books #7, #13, #19, #23, #31, and each of the 'chronicles' were particular standouts. Despite the up and down quality of the books, I struggled to stick to my schedule- I was tempted every month to just read them all as quickly as possible.

The biggest surprise was the depth to which the realities of war were explored. Characters in this series die, sometimes gruesomely. Families directly and indirectly involved in the conflict are torn apart. Veterans and civilians deal with mental aftereffects and physical limitations brought on by injury or destruction. I learned more about some aspects of war from these books than I did in any history class or well-regarded 'adult' history book.

The value of knowing these things at the age of ten is debatable. At that age, perhaps lining up toy soldiers and running them over with the matchbox you pretend is a tank is a better use of time. Still, compared to other 'similar' books that my peers were reading at the time- like the ridiculous Goosebumps series- I think reading seven-tenths of the Animorphs was a hugely positive thing for me.

Plus, it is always fun to read about animals.

I considered framing this post as a 'Life Changing Book'. Ultimately, the Animorphs did not align with the stated premise- it is a series, not a single book, and the changes to my life were not observable through direct behavior.

2. I almost went with 'beware the unnecessary, over-logical explanation'...

Most of Marco's participation in the series centers around a self-created conflict- could he kill his own mother in a battle? He spends a lot of time convincing the rest of the team that he could and, of course, no one believes him. It brings to mind an experience I've had many times over the years- sitting through the 'over logical' explanation- usually coming from someone who is perhaps trying to convince him or herself of something as much as they are anyone in their audience.

In making his case, Marco often resorts to what I sometimes refer to as a 'debate club' strategy. Marco's explanations in these situations are generally supported by several details, insights, or sub-explanations. However, it usually ignores the big big BIG thing- he is going to kill his own mother! I call this 'debate club' logic because, in some cases, the weighing of arguments is trivial in the face of just one comment, clearly stated, that is obvious enough to merit the end of the discussion.

Ultimately, I could not really do much to fuse those two observations together. So, I decided to just tuck it here into the footnotes as a half-formed lesson.

3. Economics again!

Truisms such as 'you always repay your debts' highlight the misunderstanding. If such a thing was always the case, the interest rate would be right around 0%. Actually, wait, bad example.

Here is perhaps the most well-publicized example of incentives gone wrong.